The PR
by LuvversLuvvie
Summary: Sasuke Uchiha is the youngest CEO of the widely popular and successful Uchiha Corp, and did someone say major hottie? Every newspaper, magazine, talk show, and news program wants an interview with the man who's got it all, but you have to go through his PR if you want even a chance.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, I just make stories**

**My inner muse is a wee bit tired with my current chapter stories, so I am appeasing her by writing this two-shot. Oh, and a little note: I don't hate Sakura at all (well, Shippuden Sakura), but she just fit in so perfectly into this role that I just had to use her.**

**Summary: Sasuke Uchiha is the youngest CEO of the widely popular and successful Uchiha Corp, and did someone say major hottie? Every newspaper, magazine, talk show, and news program wants an interview with the man who's got it all, but you have to go through his PR if you want even a chance.**

* * *

Naruto Uzumaki smiled at his reflection in the mirror.

Then he slapped himself on the cheek; not wide enough, dammit!

Looking back in the mirror, Naruto groaned and instantly regretted slapping himself and cursed himself for being so damn impulsive.

'_Idiot._' He could practically _hear_ his rival—and best friend since kindergarten—Sasuke Uchiha's voice insulting him in his mind.

Sighing, Naruto began to inspect the damage he had inflicted on his already scarred cheeks. Massaging the red areas surrounding his whisker-like scars, Naruto sighed in relief. He hadn't slapped himself _too_ hard, so the reddening area should turn back to a normal color in about three minutes, less even.

Hey, what could he say? Naruto healed quickly, always has.

Still, that shouldn't mean that he should keep slapping himself. Maybe it was about time to kick that particular morning ritual.

But still, learning to stop attacking himself aside, that did not change the fact that his usual smile was not wide and happy enough! Today was an important day and he needed to look his very best.

His tan, lean body was covered up by a black suit; his best 'casual' suit, or whatever the hell Sasuke referred to it as. While disliking the stiff feeling he got whenever he had to wear the jacket, preferring to simply roll up his sleeves of his white dress shirt to feel more comfortable, today was an important day so he would wear the suit Sasuke had bought for him. Naruto was defiant, though, and was wearing his favorite orange tie. He didn't care if Sasuke said that it looked ridiculous in the business world. He looked fine as hell and he was _so_ working it. Besides, his hair was the loudest shade of blonde that the stuffy business world had ever seen, and it was all natural so they could get bent in his opinion.

It wasn't as if his tie was going to make that big of a deal today, even though it was a big day. Sure, Naruto was told to look his best, but _he_ wasn't going to be the center of attention; Sasuke was.

Today his boss—and best friend/rival—Sasuke Uchiha was coming back home from his important international meeting.

Of course, that in itself was not a really _HUGE_ deal; Sasuke went out of the country for business all the time and would occasionally bring Naruto to tag along. He claimed that bringing Naruto was a 'stress reliever' because he had to deal with idiots all day and couldn't slap them like he did with Naruto, who suffered more than one light punch to the head during these trips. But Naruto knew that his best friend brought him along because he felt lonely when out of his own country so Naruto agreed when he could.

He couldn't accept every time, though, like with this trip. Despite Sasuke being his boss, Naruto still had a lot of work to do and being out of the country made it rather hard to do.

Naruto was Sasuke's PR. He never really knew what the 'PR' stood for, though. Some people he worked with had told him that it stood for 'Public Relations' since technically, that was Naruto's job. He had been recently upgraded from Sasuke's minion…_ASSISTANT_ handling Sasuke's work schedule to Sasuke's PR handling Sasuke's new media fan base. Not that that was new, he practically did the same thing in high school anyways.

Sasuke had told him that the 'PR' stood for 'Personal Representative', which Naruto had liked a lot more. It made more sense to him, anyways. In high school, each of the presidents, vice-presidents, secretaries, treasurers, and the other never-ending important-sounding high-ranked 'officers' of Sasuke's freakishly large fan club had always asked Naruto questions about Sasuke since the blonde knew him best.

Not that he gave them any helpful answers, though. Back then he just told them the truth: that Sasuke was and forever would be a bastard intent on ruling the world with his demonic powers and would not be satisfied unless the sky was red and the national anthem was screams of pain; though that answer tended to give him harder hits to the head than Sasuke's half-assed punches during those trips.

So as Sasuke's Personal Representative, Naruto had to be there when Sasuke was picked up from the airport. He'd be there anyways as Sasuke's best friend, but today required him to be more than the Uchiha's best friend but as the youngest CEO of Uchiha Corp's history's Public Relation.

Sasuke had already been the only surviving heir to the company, but he was only recently named CEO because only now at age twenty-three did Sasuke feel that he was ready. Technically, he should have inherited the company at age eighteen, being the only heir and all after the infamous 'Uchiha Massacre', or so the media called it after his parents and older brother were killed overseas. It was an accident, a drunk driver, but the media had spun the story into a Princess Di-ish conspiracy theory.

The endless theories went from rival companies taking them down to supernatural beings being involved. The worst theory by far was that that weird blonde boy that hung out with the only survivor with the strange markings on his cheeks had cursed the family. The reporters would not leave Sasuke alone for months, trying to get his opinion on their latest story about his parents' death. They were particularly interested in how he felt about inheriting the company since that used to be his elder brother's role, asking if his cursed friend had arranged for his parent's death so Sasuke could become successful.

Still, Sasuke had insisted that he graduate college before inheriting the company. Which he did, on high honors and a year early so the damn prodigy bastard decided to stay for friggin' graduate school! And finished THAT early as well! Damn genius.

Now that he was finally the youngest CEO of Uchiha Corp's history having inherited the position from his proxy Kakashi Hatake, the media was all over the poor bastard! This recent trip and deal had gotten Uchiha Corp a lot of publicity so the media would _definitely_ be after him today.

And so enter Naruto.

Ever since the media had taken the tragic death of his family to such drastic proportions, Sasuke has hated the media with a vengeance. Too bad the bastard was, according to his adoring fans, 'sex-on-legs' and a 'major hottie'. And because of his intense and freakish popularity, every newspaper, magazine, talk-show, and news program wanted an interview with him since his popularity would translate to _their_ popularity. It was win-lose with Sasuke as the loser.

So that was what had led Sasuke to hiring Naruto as his minio—ASSISTANT. He couldn't deal with people without going all demon-bastard on them so he hired the only person he could stand that could deal with them. Naruto had been juggling about three part-time jobs at the time, not being able to afford college and barely being able to afford rent and food and all that good stuff, so he had agreed to the stable job offer. Plus being Sasuke's Bro gave him epic perks like not having to listen to stuffy bastards that were less bastard-y than Sasuke but waaaaaaaaaay more stuck up than Sasuke.

Not that he would listen to them anyways, but being Sasuke's PR gave him the authority to tell them to stuff it where the sun don't shine.

Sasuke had been so proud of him that he had promoted Naruto as his PR in hopes that the blonde could do the same to those media hound dogs following him like lost puppies.

Naruto had been Sasuke's PR for a little while now, coming around four months this week. Normally, Sasuke did a pretty good job at hiding himself from the media, choosing to only take meetings at his office and having his driver pull up to the company's entrance so there was little chance of getting a picture because of Uchiha Corp's security. Plus, the bastard was so anti-social that the media had next to no chance finding him unless they knew some of Naruto's favorite and longtime personal hangouts he's had since a little kid—and thankfully they didn't know.

Sasuke had also been out of the country for business since hiring Naruto a couple of times, but this was a groundbreaking deal that had caused a lot of attention. Naruto didn't totally understand why, but he understood that it was pretty damn impressive because Sasuke had told him over the phone right after closing the deal that not even his late father had been able to accomplish this particular deal.

Naruto also understood that Big Business Deal equaled Willing To Interview in the media's eye, and this time the bastard would be forced to walk in public areas in order to reach his car!

After checking himself out once more in the mirror, and winking because _damn_ he looked good, Naruto grabbed his things and ran out the door.

Once he had turned around after locking his apartment door, he saw his friend Kiba waving at him.

"Hey, Kiba! Whatchya doing all the way here in the slums?" Naruto called down to his brunette friend he's had since high school.

Kiba grinned, somewhat feral what with his red fang tattoos on each cheek and his freakish canine teeth, and called back, "Boss told me to pick you up and drive you to the airport."

Running down the stairs from his top floor, cheap apartment, Naruto shouted, "What? That bastard! He's a sadist for ruining my morning commute and my daily stop at the ramen shop!"

"That, or he wanted to make sure you're on time!" Kiba shouted back, leaning against the shiny Mercedes 600 black limousine he drove in.

"What?!" Naruto shouted despite having reached the car, "I'm _ALWAYS_ on time! I haven't been late for _ANYTHING_! Not school, not any job I've ever had, not ANYTHING!"

"What about those times you forced us to the movies or the mall? You were either about a half hour late to two hours." Kiba reminded the blonde with an obviously amused expression, reminding his friend about high school days long passed, spent with the friends Naruto had forced to join him and Sasuke on their escapades.

Naruto's face could have rivaled a fire truck with the force of his flustered blush.

"Nev-never anything imp-important. . ." Naruto weakly defended, finding the door of the fancy car extremely interesting.

"Suuuure, Foxy." Kiba teased, rolling his eyes and feral grin still in place.

"Screw you, Dog-Breath." Naruto glared at one of the only two people allowed to comment about the scars on his cheeks. Kiba was allowed to because of his own cheek accessories, and the other was Sasuke who was allowed to because he was Sasuke, not that he ever did.

"Don't threaten me with a good time, because I'm not afraid." Kiba retorted, opening the door to the car.

Naruto rolled his blue eyes, "Wanna test that theory?" he challenged, leaning closer to his friend than what the straight man was comfortable with.

"GAAH!" Kiba tripped backwards into the car while Naruto did a mini dance of victory. "Okay, okay! You win, Uzumaki!"

"That's 'Great Lord Uzumaki' to you, peasant." Naruto smiled to the man he had bested with his lack of caring for personal space and not being affected by gay things since he's bi and single.

"Yea, yea, oh 'Great Lord'," Kiba mocked, "just get in the car so I can take you to the airport."

"Sasuke's got you on one tight leash, huh?" Naruto commented to Sasuke Uchiha's personal driver, buckling himself in in the passenger's seat.

"The man pays my paycheck, dude! And if you haven't noticed, YOU'RE the only one that can get away not doing what he says when he says! There's no way in hell I'm giving up the best job I've ever had with the best benefits ever! I'll friggin' fight for it if I have to!" Kiba told the other passionately while turning on the car and driving towards the airport where the two's boss was going to be.

"And I'll be there fighting with ya." Naruto assured, flashing Kiba his signature smile.

Kiba took his eyes off the road long enough to flash his own fanged smile before returning his attention back to the road.

"So did Boss tell ya what to say?" Kiba asked as he took an exit for the highway.

"Hmm?" Naruto asked, not really paying attention. He was having more fun watching the passengers of nearby cars trying to peer into the limo.

"Did Boss tell ya what to tell the media once they start hounding you for questions about him or the deal?" Kiba clarified.

"Yeah," Naruto answered, smiling to himself as he remembered his friend's warning to not use any of the answers from their high school days, "he told me that 'The company is very pleased with how the events have turned out' and how 'We plan to keep the success rate up'."

"Wow. Sounds exciting." Kiba commented sarcastically, resisting the urge to roll his eyes since he was driving.

"Oh hell yea," Naruto responded in same, "answers about the bastard are even _more_ interesting."

"Oh really?"

"MMhmm, 'Mr. Uchiha is quite pleased with how the events have turned out, having played a key role' and how 'He has big plans for the company and hopes this will help pave the way for an improved Uchiha Corp.'."

"Wow, you weren't kidding." Kiba assured the other.

Naruto laughed and said, "I still don't see why I can't tell them what I told those girls back in high school, he really IS a bastard intent upon world domination! He just found a more subtle way to do it."

Kiba laughed and agreed wholeheartedly.

Naruto huffed and pouted, "And as part of his bastard-y world domination plan, he seems determined to keep me away from my true love."

"True love?" Kiba asked incredulously, knowing full well Naruto's dating history, or lack thereof.

"RAMEN!" Naruto shouted passionately, almost making Kiba jump.

"What the hell, man?" Kiba asked, referring to the sudden outburst.

"That bastard KNOWS that ramen is essential to my morning ritual! Without it, I am nothing! NOTHIIIIING!" Naruto pretended to cry dramatically into his hands.

"Drama queen." Kiba scoffed.

They were still a ways from the airport, so they turned on the radio, promptly challenging each other to a karaoke war. But the radio had too many commercials that interrupted their oh so manly competition so Kiba had pulled out his iPod and plugged it in so they could continue commercial free and with the songs they wanted.

After a particularly epic sing-along rendition of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody—complete with singing along with the guitar and all of the every part of the song—Kiba turned into the exit for the airport.

Kiba lowly whistled and Naruto stared as they both noticed the number of news vans and flashy cars that surely belonged to reporters and other social media figures.

"You sure got your work cut out for ya." Kiba commented as he drove towards the airport's entrance.

"Hey, I gotta work to get my paycheck just like you." Naruto replied as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

"Yea, but I only have to fear freak car accidents. YOU have to deal with rabid reporters." Kiba pointed out to his friend.

Naruto flipped him the bird in response and climbed out the door.

After getting out of the car, Naruto headed towards the automatic doors of the airport's entrance. Walking through them always made him smile ever since he was a kid. He was a pretty awesome Jedi whenever they opened by themselves. The force was strong with him.

Naruto knew which gate Sasuke would arrive in, so he did not have to search for it. What he did have to search for, though, was a bathroom. He was no chick, but there was a high possibility that he would be caught in some pictures snuck of Sasuke so he needed to make sure his suit wasn't seriously ruffled or he forgot to zip his fly and Kiba never mentioned it.

After a quick inspection, Naruto had clarified once again that he was hot as shit. Hell, he WAS the shit.

He left the bathroom and headed towards the gate. There was extra security around because Naruto had called ahead as part of his job as Sasuke's PR and warned the airport that there would most likely be an influx of media. The airport security had agreed with Uchiha Corp that the media invading the airport would be a very bad idea, though for different reasons.

The airport security had ensured that anyone with a camera was kept outside of the airport, as well as anyone with an obvious reporter look. Naruto had literally heard one woman ask security, "Excuse me, but do you know which area Sasuke Uchiha's plane will be arriving in?" and she was promptly led outside.

The rest of the reporters had quickly learned that they were not welcome, but that only convinced them to be inconspicuous with their mission. Unfortunately for those who did not know which gate Sasuke would arrive in, security was asking anyone who looked lost what their purpose was and would escort out anyone who couldn't give a feasible answer and would keep a close eye on anyone they would have to ask twice.

Luckily, Naruto knew exactly where he was going and he had his official Uchiha Corp ID and had even made sure to tell the head of security about himself when he had called earlier so security knew he was coming and did not keep him from heading as close to the gate as he could without having to pay for a ticket. They were thankful that Naruto had not insisted that they should break the rules for him and allow him full access to the port entrance, and had even offered to escort him there.

Naruto laughed and told them that that was not necessary; he was a nobody compared to his best friend and while it irked him at times, he was safe from being recognized.

They nodded and sent him on his way, radioing to each other what Naruto looked like so they would not have to act when he approached Sasuke rather than any reporters who could manage to bypass security.

Naruto was almost to his destination when he heard, "Hey, Naruto!"

Turning around, he was surprised to see Kiba speed walking to him.

Confused, Naruto turned around to meet his friend halfway.

"What's up?" the blonde asked the brunette.

"Here." Kiba thrust a cup into Naruto's hands.

Still confused, Naruto automatically wrapped his hands around the warm cup—probably coffee for Sasuke—and asked the driver, "Why aren't you in the car?"

Kiba grinned and said, "Parked in in the nearest garage. Don't tell Boss I used Uchiha Corp authority to get a friggin' sweet spot, though. But I remembered that someone has an addiction that hasn't been fixed." He then turned around and started speed walking in the opposite direction.

Why would Kiba care whether or not Sasuke got his coffee? Despite Kiba's claims, Sasuke did not have an addiction.

Looking down, Naruto saw what he could honestly swear was a piece of the purest part of heaven in his hands.

Kiba. Brought. Him. RAMEN!

"KIBA, I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU! YOU ARE A GOD AMONGST MAN AND THE BEST BRO EVER RECORDED IN HISTORY!" Naruto shouted across the airport.

"YOU KNOW IT, 'GREAT LORD NARUTO UZUMAKI!" Kiba called back, turning around long enough to fist pump the air. Then he turned around again and resumed speed walking back to the parking garage.

Smiling ear to ear, Naruto unattached the chopsticks Kiba had stuck to the side of Naruto's favorite instant cup ramen while walking back to his destination.

"Naruto Uzumaki?"

Naruto turned around to face the female voice he heard.

He was surprised to see a group of girls smiling very brightly at him.

Reflexively smiling back, Naruto asked, "Excuse me?"

A girl with pink dyed hair and green eyes wearing a red skirt suit with a rather short skirt stepped closer to him and asked, "You're Naruto Uzumaki, right?" smiling all the while.

Deciding that he liked her smile, but confused why she would recognize his name, Naruto answered, "That would depend on who's asking." He too was smiling during the entire time he spoke.

The pink haired girl and a blonde girl with rather long hair and a purple skirt suit that showed off her vivacious curves took a step closer to him so he had to pull his precious, precious ramen closer to himself.

"What about old high school friends?" the pink haired girl asked, a pout making its way onto her overly made up face. It would be cute, if there wasn't so much stuff covering her face.

"You mean you don't remember us, Naruto?" the blonde asked, pouting as well and pulled her arms together to perk up her chest.

"Uuuhhhhhhh," Naruto said as he tilted his head to the side, crossed his arms, and squinted his eyes. If he was honest, he tried not to remember much about high school these days. Those days weren't exactly the best days for him and he preferred to not dwell upon the past.

"That's okay if you don't," the blonde told him, interrupting his attempt at waking up his memory.

"Yeah, what matters right now is that _we_ remember _you_ so we can talk for a bit, right?" the pink haired one chimed in.

"Uhhhhh, I'm kinda busy now." Naruto tried to tell the girls and back away since more girls starting to approach the little group.

"Really? Busy doing what?" the blonde asked, somewhat urgently.

"I—" Naruto began.

"Busy representing Sasuke, right?" the pink haired girl interrupted, rather loudly.

As soon as Sasuke's name was mentioned, nearly all the girls milling around the area perked up like meerkats. Then, in one frightening group, they stampeded to Naruto, all the while screaming questions about Sasuke.

Naruto finally understood what Kiba had meant about 'rabid reporters'.

"I HAVE A MESSAGE FROM MR. UCHIHA!" Naruto stated loudly, knowing that security would soon arrive and make these ladies leave and knowing that this was the most efficient way to make them shut the hell up.

Like he predicted, the women were quieter than the awkward silence after someone unknowingly insults someone's dead mother, Naruto would know being an orphan and all.

Using a firm tone that exuded confidence with every word, Naruto flashed a smile and said, "Mr. Uchiha is quite pleased with how the events have turned out, having played a key role. He has big plans for the company and hopes this will help pave the way for an improved Uchiha Corp and thanks you all for the continued interest in the company."

A few women returned Naruto's smile, while others held their pads of paper to their chests and sighed as they imagined the words being spoken by their one true love, Sasuke.

But the pink haired girl shouted, "And?"

Blinking, Naruto asked, ""Excuse me?"

"You mean to tell me that that's _ALL_ Sasuke has to say?" the pink haired girl shouted, a vein starting to pop out on her large forehead.

Other women started to agree with the pink haired girl and began to voice their opinions of wanting more.

Naruto saw members of security starting to approach the group so he figured that he'd help them out by making the crowd shut up again.

"Well," Naruto began in a normal tone and smiling once more, the group of females was silent once more, "yes that IS all Mr. Uchiha has to say. The recent deal made is groundbreaking and will help Uchiha Corp to expand in previously thought impossible ways. As the CEO of Uchiha Corp, Mr. Uchiha is very satisfied with the deal made and hopes it inspires other companies to take a similar path. He also ensures that Uchiha Corp will try more than its best to make sure all parties involved will leave satisfied."

Personally, Naruto felt very proud of himself for expanding on what Sasuke had said was acceptable and hoped that he did not overstep any boundaries by saying that the company was open to more deals, but hey, Sasuke _had_ said in their last phone conversation that he was sure that this deal would prove to others that some form of takeover was inevitable so technically Naruto wasn't lying.

Naruto flashed the ladies a smile, as if to personally assure them that these were indeed words spoken by their dearest Sasuke. Again, most of the ladies smiled as well, most likely imagining in their minds Sasuke saying those words to them and them alone.

But once again, the pink haired wench screeched, "I DO NOT ACCEPT THIS!"

Luckily, the security officers had shown up and began saying firmly to each individual surrounding Naruto, "Excuse me, but members of the media are not allowed passed the entrance. You have to leave now." Or some variation of that polite but firm dismissal.

Most of the women had expressions of utter defeat, hoping to have at least the chance to catch a glimpse of their beloved Sasuke whose plane had just landed. Some of the more professional ones were gathering their things without argument, satisfied with getting the official statement by Mr. Uchiha and understanding that there was no use fighting against the still gathering security officers.

But some, like the pink haired banshee were livid.

"NO! NO, I'M _NOT_ LEAVING UNTIL I SEE MY SASUKE AGAIN!" she shouted, taking advantage of how the security was approaching the group from behind and she was near the front by Naruto.

"Uh, 'your Sasuke'?" Naruto asked; confused as to why this stranger was claiming ownership over his best friend.

Facing Naruto, the pink haired woman looked rather frightening with a hideously angry expression on her face reinforced with its ugly by her overly done makeup and shouted, "YES, you monster _FREAK_! _MY_ Sasuke! He's been mine ever since high school! He and I would be married and have children by now if it weren't for you, you cursed, fucking MONSTER!"

As she shrieked the last insult, she jabbed a finger at his chest and effectively knocked over Naruto's cup of instant ramen.

The security guards, bystanders, and other reports could swear that they felt the temperature in the airport drop a few degrees as they turned their attention towards the cause.

Naruto's eyes were hidden by his bangs as he observed in still silence his ramen that Kiba had given him spill out of the cup and spread on the floor.

Unrelenting, the pink haired bitch crossed her arms and demanded in a loud, superior tone, "Now tell my Sasuke that he _will_ go on a proper date with me and to meet me at—"

"Shut up."

Caught off guard with the sudden interruption, the pink haired abomination asked incredulously, "_Excuse_ me?"

Naruto looked up and pinned her with a glare that had made stronger men than she flinch back in fear.

"I said shut up." Naruto repeated in a chilling tone.

"What?! I don't think you know who—" she was cut off by Naruto again.

"Does anyone know what company, newspaper, magazine, or show this woman reports to?" Naruto asked the crowd of reporters watching at large, completely ignoring the bitch in front of him.

The curse upon mankind was about to speak again when Naruto cut her off before she got the chance, "Because Mr. Uchiha and all representatives and employees of Uchiha Corp are officially cutting ties with this woman and whatever company, newspaper, magazine, or show she may represent as well as any company, newspaper, magazine, and show that will stand by her. The first person who contacts Uchiha Corp regarding who this woman is and who she represents will be awarded with an exclusive interview with Sasuke Uchiha."

Before the pink haired waste of space or anyone else could utter a word, Naruto roughly sped passed them and grabbed the arm of one Sasuke Uchiha who had successfully made his way near his PR without anyone noticing and said, "The car is this way, Mr. Uchiha."

There was a sudden flurry of both voices and movement as everyone realized that THE Mr. Sasuke Uchiha was walking by! Everyone wanted a word with him, some wanted to shout the pink haired woman's wanted information and secure that exclusive interview for themselves, and others wanted to take his picture.

But one Uchiha Glare was all it took for them to refuse to say another word while in the airport and try to leave as quickly as they could.

The security officers were too frightened themselves to be amazed at how quickly all the unwanted reporters had left. They did, however, escort the pink haired woman to the head of security and make sure that she was not allowed to return to that particular airport due to her indecent behavior.

Naruto was still holding onto Sasuke's arm as he dragged him through the airport. They were extremely lucky because they weren't stopped for anything. There looked like there would be one or two people who recognized Sasuke and was going to approach or tell their friend, but they hastily looked away after squeaking in fear before Naruto could even glare at them. Weird. Maybe he was that badass?

It was probably because he was so pissed. That bitch who knocked over his ramen had really put him in a bad mood. All he wanted to do was get to the car and have Kiba drive him back to his apartment ASAP! Sasuke was lucky that he had arrived when he did because there was no way in hell that Naruto was going to stick around longer than he had to.

The bastard must have noticed that Naruto was in a bad mood because he did not fight being pulled through the airport like he normally would. He was even matching Naruto's pace!

The blonde felt like he could have started singing praises to the Lord when he saw the exit of the airport. He made a beeline for those doors with Sasuke in tow. Somehow, people would stiffen and move out of the way with expressions of fear as they passed, though they were not looking at Naruto but behind him.

Whatever. Naruto was so pissed that if anyone was following him then he'd just kick their ass. He would tell Sasuke to look out for people behind them, but he knew that Sasuke could take care of himself, if not for his physical strength and fighting abilities then for his glare.

When they finally exited the airport, Naruto was relieved to see Sasuke's car about to approach them in the loop.

Still holding onto Sasuke's arm because there was no way that he'd risk losing Sasuke and having to spend more time in the airport, Naruto waved to Kiba, fully intent on leaving SOON!

Kiba turned into the lane closest to the sidewalk and pulled to a stop. Then Naruto remembered that he had a job and opened the door for Sasuke since they were out in the open now and there were far less security guards outside so pictures could easily be taken; he needed to get Sasuke out of sight.

He was about to close the door after Sasuke got into the car so he could climb into the passenger's seat and demand to be taken home, but Sasuke had grabbed _his_ arm.

Sending the man inside the car a confused look, Sasuke only tugged in arm and ordered, "Get in," and made room for Naruto next to himself.

Sighing, Naruto climbed into the car. He knew that there was no use in fighting against the bastard and that it would definitely not be the best thing in the world for the press to be able to sneak a picture of Sasuke in the car.

Once inside, Naruto situated himself in the seat furthest away from his best friend, next to the window.

"Welcome home." Naruto mumbled, giving Sasuke a quick glance with a megawatt grin before turning his attention out of the window, hoping to both calm himself and to avoid an interrogation.

"So I'm no longer associating with a woman?" Sasuke asked, getting straight to the point, as usual.

Naruto sighed. So much for no interrogation.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I told them the company line, though." Naruto told his boss, laughing, smiling, and hoping that Sasuke will drop the subject soon, even though he knew the stubborn bastard wouldn't.

"I don't care about that," Sasuke announced, surprising both Naruto and Kiba who both gave him looks of surprise. Naruto's was an outright jaw drop and staring at the other while Kiba's was a subtle surprised glance in the rear view mirror. Kiba immediately regretted such a glance as he was met with an Uchiha Glare that was clearly warning him to not pay attention to the back seat.

Sasuke turned back to Naruto and repeated, "I don't care about that. What I want to know is why are you so upset?"

Naruto closed his mouth, fixed it into a wide smile, and turned back to the window, "I'm not upset." Naruto stated. He would absolutely _not_ admit that the pink haired bitch got to him this much. Sure she may have reminded him a little too much of those high school days he thought he was passed despite not remembering her, but that was not something he'd admit to anyone; not even Sasuke. He was strong enough to handle his own problems.

"Yes you are." Sasuke insisted, grabbing a hold of Naruto's hand.

Grinning wider to make sure that his smile was still in place, Naruto forced a light tone, "Nope. You're imagining things, Sasuke. I think it's the jetlag. Kiba, after you drop me off at my place, can you make sure that Sasuke gets tucked into bed so he can get a proper rest?" addressing the driver.

"No. Inuzuka, you will take the both of us to my house." Sasuke ordered while somehow glaring at the both of them. Naruto would forever be in awe of Sasuke's mastery of the glare.

Confused and disappointed because he _knew_ that the bastard would insist on interrogating him once behind closed doors, Naruto asked, "Why?" to make he sure he knew what he was getting into.

Sasuke smirked and said, "I've been out of the country for over a week and I'm not allowed to spend some time with a friend?"

Guilt washed over Naruto. The two HAD made plans to hang out at Sasuke's place after he came home. Well, not really, but it was a ritual the two followed whenever Naruto could not accompany Sasuke on his international trips. It was pretty much understood that Naruto would go to Sasuke's place after Sasuke returned.

Humbled, Naruto agreed but was unsure of what to say so he said, "Who'd want to spend time with you? Cocky bastard."

"You do." Sasuke said with a calm confidence that no matter what would comfort Naruto.

Burning bright red in a fluster, Naruto could only stutter, "Sh-shut up, bastard."

Smirking even wider so one—Naruto—could dare say that it was a grin, Sasuke said, "And yes, my cock is quite large."

The blush earlier could not compare to the blush that threatened to redden Naruto's entire body as he accused, "PERVERT!" jabbing a finger at Sasuke.

Calmly, Sasuke placed his hand over Naruto's accusing one and said, "I'm not the one that brought the size of my penis into the conversation." He said this as he lowered Naruto's hand.

Naruto pulled his hand away from the pervert and accused, "I didn't either! YOUR _PERVERTED_ MIND DID!"

Sasuke grunted, "Hn," in response.

As Naruto glowered at the perverted bastard next to him, Sasuke asked, "You said that you gave the proper media response?"

Sobering up, Naruto nodded and said, "Yeah, I said that you were very happy with how the events transpired and hope to welcome more business and all that jazzy stuff."

"Jazzy stuff?" Sasuke asked, amused with Naruto's paraphrasing of what he had said earlier.

"Yes, jazzy stuff!" Naruto defended himself, getting riled up for an argument over his choice of words.

"So you didn't understand what the trip was about?" Sasuke asked, more of a statement than a question and with amusement still evident in his voice. A rarity for anyone besides Naruto to hear, but it was usually aimed at Naruto's expense so he rarely enjoyed these gems of the bastard's personality.

Deflating, Naruto answered his boss, "No, sir."

Smirking, Sasuke said, "We have over an hour before we reach my place. How about I explain it to you again?"

"OH GOD, NO! HAVE MERCY, SASUKE! MERCY!" Naruto begged, grabbing onto Sasuke's sleeve, "I SWEAR I'LL DO ANYTHING! ANYTHING! JUST DON'T SUBJECT ME TO _THAT_!"

His frantic pleas were in vein as Sasuke gave a sadistic smile and said in a chilling tone, "Too late."

And so Sasuke launched into an explanation about Uchiha Corp and some big company overseas merging together, or in human translation: Sasuke owns them now.

That bastard used his most monotone voice when explaining such a boring topic to Naruto, and the bastard _knew_ that the combination of the two knocked Naruto out faster than a drunken lightweight hitting on an overly jealous muscle man's woman gets knocked out.

Naruto was fast asleep before five minutes had passed.

The next thing Naruto was aware of was feeling a large bump.

"Whoa! Sorry, Boss!" Naruto groggily heard Kiba's voice, "I didn't see that pot hole!"

"Hn." Sasuke's voice grunted.

Trying to wake himself up, Naruto tried to get situated.

And noticed that he was lying on his side, with his head on Sasuke's lap! He could also feel Sasuke's hand on his head!

"Bastard?" Naruto asked, his voice slightly hoarse from the drowsiness that was quickly leaving him.

"Yes, idiot?" Sasuke replied from above him.

"Can you tell me why my head is on your lap and your hand is on my head?" Naruto asked in a somewhat low voice, because both the residual drowsiness and a fear that his sadistic best friend must have done something to him in his sleep like take his wallet or draw on his face like he would if Sasuke fell asleep.

"You fell asleep and selfishly used my lap as a pillow. You also took up the area where my arm would normally rest leaving me no choice but to use your empty head as an armrest as punishment." Sasuke answered immediately. He was using his business voice, the one he used whenever he had prepared answers to questions he knew were going to be asked and wanted to convince someone of something.

Naruto was still waking up so he didn't dwell on it since it was probably nothing; Sasuke probably just knew Naruto was going to ask so Sasuke already knew the answer.

Naruto pushed on the seat so his was now in his original sitting position. He was slightly surprised to see that his seatbelt had been unbuckled, but didn't make much of it and just re-buckled it.

Naruto looked out the window and saw that they were really close to Sasuke's mansion!

Naruto sat up straighter so he could see the grounds as they pulled into the long, winding driveway. Ever since he was a child, the Uchiha mansion always dazzled him his its enormity and the attention and respect it commanded despite being an inanimate building.

Kiba drove up to the front of the house to drop off the two passengers. Sasuke got out of the car without a word and made way for the expansive front door, but Naruto stayed behind a bit so he could say bye to his friend.

"Man, you were out like a friggin' light!" Kiba commented.

"Oh shut it, will ya?" Naruto grumbled, feeling a little embarrassed for being called out on his inability to listen to Sasuke's lectures.

"Awwww, but it was so cuuuuute." Kiba teased Naruto, making mock kissy faces at him.

"Eh? What was?" Naruto asked, the last time he had fallen asleep in the car, Kiba had decidedly told Naruto how UN-cute his snoring and his tossing around were.

"After you fell asleep against the window and started to snore, Boss unbuckled ya and put you on his lap. As soon as that happened, you stopped snoring! It was like a miracle!" Kiba exclaimed.

Before Naruto could react, Kiba glanced out the window and flinched. Naruto looked out the same window to see what Kiba was scared of and saw Sasuke glaring at the car.

"You should go, dude. I don't want Boss to fire me 'cause I'm stealing you from him!" Kiba said as he started the car.

Naruto rolled his eyes at Kiba's exaggeration, "Sasuke won't fire you. He knows we're bros."

"_Hurry_!" Kiba urged, glancing from Sasuke to Naruto.

"Heel, boy! Down!" Naruto laughed as he slid out of the car.

Naruto waved as Kiba drove towards the garage so he could switch Sasuke's fancy limousine with his rebuilt motorcycle.

The blonde then heard Sasuke clear his throat. Naruto turned to face the Uchiha who motioned with his head that Naruto should follow him into the house as he walked inside.

Having been a frequent visitor of the Uchiha mansion before and after the accident, Naruto knew his way around and had no problem finding Sasuke in the kitchen.

Part of their welcome home tradition was for the two to eat a homemade meal when Sasuke returned. It was a tradition his late mother, Mikoto Uchiha, had started in response to her husband and Sasuke's late father, Fugaku Uchiha, had to go on frequent business trips that Sasuke and Naruto had continued after they and Sasuke's late brother, Itachi Uchiha, were killed in that drunk driving accident.

Of course, they modified the tradition a bit. Mikoto had always been one for ceremony and would without fail cook such a large meal that Naruto's presence and his bottomless pit for a stomach was not only welcomed but required lest their poor fridge be overwhelmed with leftovers. Their modified version of her extravagant meals was to make a large pan of homemade macaroni and cheese since that was the only thing they knew how to make that was not microwavable after the accident.

Sasuke was in the kitchen gathering the ingredients when Naruto entered the room. Without pause, Naruto immediately headed over to where the pots and pans were stored and began gathering the necessary items.

The two worked fast and with little error from having made this meal so many times. They knew the recipe and how to make it by heart so they barely paid attention to what they were doing.

"What happened at the airport?" Sasuke asked as he started to divide the ingredients.

"Not much." Naruto dismissed, hoping Sasuke would drop the subject.

"Naruto," Sasuke's voice dropped as he used his _serious_ voice, "there's no use in lying to me."

Naruto sighed, knowing this was true. He turned to make sure his back was turned to Sasuke as he filled a pot with water and started to explain, "We got to the airport just fine and after I checked in with security so they'd know who I was I went to go wait for you to land. There were a lotta reporters there even though security had weeded out the dumb ones.

"Anyway, Kiba called out and gave me some ramen since I missed out this morning. After hearing my name, some pink haired woman, blonde chick, and other girl reporter people approached me, claiming to be old high school buddies. The pink haired one shouted out that I'm your PR so I gave the company line about you being happy about events transpired.

"Most seemed okay with the line, but pinky demanded more so I embellished a little bit, saying that you worked hard for the deal and hope other companies will follow their lead and Uchiha Corp will leave everyone satisfied. Then pinky started shouting that she 'did not accept this' and said she's not leaving until 'she saw _her_ Sasuke'.

"I asked what she meant and she started freaking out and shouted out that she's supposed to be your wife by now and have many, many Uchiha babies if it weren't for me, the freaky, cursed monster.

And she knocked down my ramen." Naruto explained, anger lacing his voice as he recalled how his precious, precious ramen was knocked out of his hands. The cup weeping its tears or sorrow as its delicious innards dropped to the floor.

Then Naruto realized that the pot he had been filling with water was overfilled and passed the brim!

"AAHH!" Naruto exclaimed as he shut off the sink and frantically pored some of the water out.

He inwardly cursed his clumsiness as he grabbed a hand towel and began to wipe away the spilled water from around the sink.

Naruto danced an impromptu jig to see if there was any water under his feet, which thankfully there wasn't.

"Phew!" Naruto sighed in relief and turned around to face his best friend, why was his back turned anyways? Oh yeah, the water.

"I don't think I should be in charge of the water anymore. Ah! But you don't trust me with making the actual meal! So I _should_ stay in charge of the water and the noodles! Oh, but I just made this mess." Naruto babbled as he turned his head to look at the messy, watery sink. He only cleaned around the sink since that mattered more.

Turning his head to face his best friend he asked, "What should I do, bastard?"

"You _should_ tell me these things earlier." Sasuke replied, somewhat icily as he glared at Naruto. It was not an Uchiha Glare nor filled with any malice. It was a glare especially reserved for Naruto; filled with frustration, but the kind stemming from caring about the other.

"Eh?" Naruto asked, confused. He should tell Sasuke that he was a klutz before spilling the water? But Sasuke already knew of Naruto's clumsiness, having teased him mercilessly for it in their childhood.

Suddenly, Sasuke was hugging—_HUGGING_—Naruto!

Naruto froze; unused to this. Usually it was _Naruto_ who initiated hugs with people! Sure Sasuke had hugged him more times than his other guy friends—and some of his girly friends—but Naruto was still not used to someone else touching him in a familiar way.

"Sas-Sasuke?" Naruto asked, only able to look sideways with his eyes.

"You _idiot_!" Sasuke chastised as he squeezed Naruto tighter.

"Is it about the sink? Sorry, but it's just water! It won't stain or anything." Naruto supplied, lost as to why Sasuke was getting so riled up.

"Not the sink, dunce, the airport."

"Oh. . ._Oh_. . ." Naruto said as he finally understood, but then did not know what else to say. He didn't want to seem weak, especially in front of Sasuke.

"You're not, by the way," Sasuke said quietly next to Naruto's head in his soothing, confident voice that always comforted the blonde, "you're not a 'cursed, fucking monster'. If anything, _she's_ the monstrous one."

A desire to be comforted some more washed over Naruto like a tsunami; he was once again a twelve-year-old begging Sasuke to believe that he was not cursed and that he did not cause his parents' fatal accident.

Naruto blinked furiously to keep the tears that threatened to moisten his eyes at bay. He was _not_ that twelve-year-old anymore. He was stronger than this, dammit! Being called a 'monster' shouldn't affect him anymore.

He was slightly trembling with the effort to not break down, which was very difficult because Sasuke was hugging him almost like he used to, hating himself all the while for being so goddamn weak.

No.. .it has been eleven years since he'd been that weak. He never broke down during high school and he never broke down after graduation. He was stronger than that. He wouldn't submit to the weakness. He wouldn't break down. He—

"You're not a monster." Sasuke whispered.

That did it.

Naruto wrapped his own arms around Sasuke and bent his head a little so his forehead was resting against Sasuke's shoulder. He didn't sob, or start bawling, but a few tears managed to leak out of Naruto's tightly closed eyes.

In return, Sasuke had started to rub Naruto's back the way he had imagined a parent would do or someone who really cares about the other. The action brought immense comfort, almost as instant as Sasuke's calm, confident voice did. It felt like no matter how weak or pathetic Naruto thought he was, Sasuke would always be there for him.

It took a few minutes, but Naruto eventually pulled away, feeling better.

"Thank you, Sasuke." Naruto thanked, sincerely and with a huge smile on his face.

"Hn." Sasuke responded with a small grin—not smirk—of his own.

"She really was a jerk, making me drop my ramen and all." Naruto insisted as he placed the pot of water on the stove.

"I'll bet. I know how seriously you take your ramen." Sasuke agreed as he returned to his task of dividing the ingredients into they needed.

"Ramen is my true love! It is my heart, blood, and soul!" Naruto declared passionately, striking a pose.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted in reply.

"Plus she was a total psycho." Naruto declared as he started to boil the water.

"Psycho?" Sasuke echoed.

"Yeah, she kept insisting that you were hers." Naruto recalled.

"A delusional psycho then." Sasuke clarified.

"Yep. You're_ my_ best friend." Naruto stated, nodding to himself.

"I'm yours." Sasuke agreed, turning around.

Naruto blushed crimson red, flustered as he suddenly got how that sounded.

"And you're mine." Sasuke declared in a tone that left no room for argument.

Naruto laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, and then changed the subject to describing what Sasuke had missed during his time out of the country. He described what a couple of friends had done during the week, he relayed some work stories, and he spent awhile describing how he had dressed Kiba up as Waldo and had spent the day photo-bombing tourists' and group pictures, often ending in how Naruto would help Kiba escape as soon as someone shouted, "I FOUND WALDO!"

Sasuke had offered few words, mostly grunts, during Naruto's rundown of the week as they continued to make their spectacular macaroni and cheese dinner. But Naruto knew that he was listening; Sasuke always listened to whatever Naruto had to say.

During dinner, Naruto asked Sasuke what he had done while out of the country, but quickly lost interest as Sasuke had not done much besides work and that was boring. So in an effort to keep Sasuke's life non-boring in his absence, Naruto spent the rest of dinner supplying awesome stress-relieving activities to do from getting a massage to hallway bowling.

Sasuke had said that was what an idiot like Naruto would do, so Naruto maturely stuck his tongue out at him.

After dinner, the two went to the living room and started to look for a video game to play. Well, Naruto chose while Sasuke told him to not pick anything stupid.

Naruto ended up choosing Mario Kart Race for nostalgia's sake, as another part of their welcome home ritual.

Naruto declared loudly that he'd definitely kick Sasuke's ass this time, but yet again Sasuke seemingly effortlessly beat the blonde by seconds.

Demanding rematch after rematch—another part of the ritual—the two played for a solid two hours.

After they put away their old game, Sasuke got to choose the movie, as per the rules of the welcome home ritual. Sasuke chose while Naruto told him not to pick anything scary.

But the bastard was a sadist and decided to choose Paranormal Activity 2.

Naruto had started to shout profanities at the bastard, who rolled his eyes and told him to calm down, "It's worse than the original." He explained to Naruto as he popped it into the DVD player.

"W-wor-wor-WORSE?" Naruto stuttered, eyes wide and pulling his knees up into his chest.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and clarified, "As in 'not as scary', moron. Not that the first one was anything to be scared of."

"SHUT UP! NOBODY TOLD ME THAT SHIT WASN'T REAL!" Naruto defended himself, having had a few nightmares and majorly freaking out after seeing the original Paranormal Activity.

"Idiot, we saw it _years_ after it came out. Hell, the _third_ movie had already come out by the time we saw the first one."

"Shut up!" Naruto shouted. Oh what a bastard Sasuke was. He _knew_ Naruto was absolutely terrified of ghosts, yet he insisted on torturing Naruto with them!

Grumbling, Naruto situated himself on the couch as Sasuke sat next to him. In a slight revenge, Naruto had taken the whole blanket for himself. Take that, bastard.

As per Naruto's request, Sasuke had left at least one light on for Naruto, though the bastard had chosen the smallest one in the far corner. He claimed it was so there would be no glare on the television, but Naruto knew that it was because the bastard really was a sadist through and through and enjoyed scaring the bajeebies out of the blonde.

The beginning of the movie went kinda slow and had fooled Naruto into thinking that maybe Sasuke was right and it would not be as scary, but soon enough, he was practically manhandling Sasuke, gripping him in fear every time night fell and burying his face into Sasuke's chest whenever something scary would happen, cursing at the bastard and accusing him because he had said that it wouldn't be scary!

When the movie was over, Naruto was in a cocoon of the blanket and had firmly nestled himself into Sasuke's side.

"I have to be able to get up so I can turn off the movie, dork." Sasuke teased as he attempted to escape Naruto's grip.

"BUT WHAT IF THE GHOSTS GET ME WHEN YOU GET UP?" Naruto demanded in a harsh whisper, keeping his voice down in case the ghosts could hear him.

"Then they'll obviously ignore you because you aren't worth haunting." Sasuke easily replied.

"BASTARD!" Naruto shouted at a smirking Uchiha who had successfully released himself from Naruto's arms.

Had it been anyone else, being called not worth something would be the height of insults to Naruto. But this was Sasuke, and Naruto knew the difference between Sasuke's bantering insults and when he really meant them. Sasuke was Sasuke so he was truly the only one Naruto had allowed to insult him on a regular basis since that was just a part of how they worked.

Despite Sasuke's assurances that Naruto would not get haunted, the blonde had absolutely refused to go anywhere unless he was escorted by Sasuke and/or he was completely surrounded by light.

This even applied to when the two men were changing to go to bed.

Naruto had stayed over at this mansion so many times that it was practically his second home. So much so, that he even had his own dresser and closet in the guest bedroom that he normally slept in.

The paranoid blonde had forced Sasuke to escort him to his guest room before going to Sasuke's—his late parents' former—Master bedroom. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep alone in his guest room alone tonight and that he would have to sleep with Sasuke; another inadvertent part of their welcome home ritual. Naruto swore that Sasuke had a penchant for making Naruto squirm because not only did the bastard almost always choose a scary movie, but he was also cheap and refused to buy a futon, couch, or sleeping bag for his own room whenever Naruto couldn't stay in a room by himself after such a scary movie.

This happened so many times that sleeping in the same bed didn't faze Naruto anymore. The only thing that slightly bothered him was that more than once he woke up in Sasuke's arms.

He never made much of it because Sasuke had explained that during these scary movie nights Naruto would whimper a lot and wouldn't stop tossing and turning unless Sasuke grabbed his arm or something and apparently they would unconsciously meld together. Naruto wouldn't put it passed himself, because according to Kiba, Naruto was a cuddly sleeper; something that was reinforced by Sasuke after the bastard showed him a picture of Naruto cuddling with a handmade stuffed scarecrow doll much resembling a former teacher of theirs.

Naruto had thought that the picture thing was a little creepy, but Sasuke had assured him that he only took it to show Naruto proof of how much of a 'cuddly sleeper' he actually was.

Naruto pulled on a pair of orange sweatpants and a black T-shirt while Sasuke merely pulled on a pair of dark blue sweatpants. The bastard usually only slept in his boxers, but Naruto had insisted on the pants while they slept in the same bed. The bi man was fine with gay-ish stuff and he knew that his best friend didn't mind them himself being gay—or just asexual—and all, but personal space gay and relationship gay were two completely different things.

After Naruto brushed his teeth in Sasuke's adjoining bathroom, Naruto had located his trusty nightlight from the bastard's '_Idiot_' drawer reserved for things Naruto had left in Sasuke's room while Sasuke himself did his own hygienic things in the bathroom.

Naruto managed to plug it in and turn it on before Sasuke turned off the lights and sighed in relief. Sometimes the bastard was too fast for him and enjoyed listening to Naruto flounder in the dark. He wasn't a _complete_ ass and would turn on the lights before Naruto would freak out, but it was always on that borderline and Naruto sought to avoid that at all costs.

Then Naruto climbed into bed, onto 'his' temporary side whenever he slept there with Sasuke.

"G'night, S'ske." Naruto mumbled, about to fall asleep.

"'Night. Don't let the ghosts get you." Sasuke warned as a bid farewell.

"BASTARD!" Naruto hissed, throwing an arm out to slap the person next to him.

The response he got was a chuckle that made Naruto smile before drifting off into dreamland.

* * *

**And that was Part One.**

**This was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but then I started to add all this extra stuff and now I can't escape it nor its length!**

**The original concept came when I was watching NCIS and one reporter accidentally knocked down Gibbs' coffee (EPIC GASP) and he ended the impromptu press interview with the swarm of reporters following him. The woman then doctored the video to make Gibbs seem unsympathetic by adding a soundclip of herself asking his opinion of recent murders and him saying 'I **_**don't**_** care'. He said this, of course, in response to reporters saying that they didn't ask their questions, but he didn't care because reporter bitch knocked down his coffee!**

**So my inner muse thought that he should have told the other reporters that he'd give them an interview if they made sure that that woman was never present for something he was involved in and would instantly stop any interview and ban **_**that**_** station if he learned that they were working with her until she properly apologized and got him a new coffee. My reasoning being that he is Gibbs and can therefor do that.**

**Sigh, but then I added all that cursed monster stuff. Not that I'm unhappy with it, it's just that now it has gotten too long for me to comfortably write a one-shot as this is—obviously—the halfway point.**

**Why oh why can't I just write a simple one-shot anymore? **_**Hell**_** was also supposed to be a one-shot, but after the 20 page mark and it being nowhere near finished, I go 'screw it, it's a chapter story'.**

**Luckily, this one will DEFINITELY be a two-shot and the other half will be uploaded soon because I'm actually motivated to write it.**

**Help out the process and leave a review, please! Please and thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

**It's so sad! I recently downloaded an old Pokemon game—Pokemon Ruby—and had gotten passed the second gym, but then I pressed something on my keyboard AND IT EXITED! **_**AND I DIDN'T SAVE ANYTHING!**_** Now I havta start all over again. Sigh. I had a pretty rockin' team, too!**

**Anyways, here's hoping that I can actually finish this: Onward with the story!**

* * *

Naruto woke up to his cell phone alarm.

The instant it started bothering him about waking up to go to work, Naruto's hand shot out to turn off that annoying noise.

Why the hell would he set his alarm to be that annoyingly loud? Oh yea, to wake him up.

Grumbling, he turned his head on his pillow so he could catch another blissful minute of sleep. He sighed in near bliss; his pillow smelled like Sasuke. It was the smell he associated most with safety.

During those lonely years spent in social exile as the local cursed orphan with ugly scars on his cheeks, Sasuke was the only one that had stood up for him.

Sure, Naruto had friends. . .or classmates who were nice enough to let him hang out with them when they were all in detention and sometimes let him play with them should he come across their group, but Sasuke was the only one who had called out to Naruto and _invited_ Naruto to hang out with him. Yeah, 'hanging out' with Sasuke either meant 'engage in competition' of the epic sort that made Sasuke and Naruto forever rivals, or 'sit around and pretend to like the books Sasuke reads', but the activity was never the important thing. What was important was that Sasuke would ask—demand for—_Naruto_ to join _him_, not the other way around like it always was with everyone else.

And Sasuke would protect Naruto. It was rarely openly fighting against those intent on hurting Naruto since that hurt Naruto's pride who insisted on fighting his own battles, both figurative and literal, but Sasuke sometimes would if it was more than five on one or if the enemy had some form of crude weapon.

No, he protected Naruto by openly stating that Naruto was his best friend and only _he_ could pick on his idiot. During high school when fights with the blonde would more often than not include both more than five against one _and_ those five with crude weapons—usually pipes or bats, but sometimes a knife would pop up every now and then—Sasuke had made it clear that those who messed with Naruto also messed with Sasuke, and nobody wanted to mess with the sadist attacking in more ways than just crushing injuries.

Sasuke was always Naruto's safe haven, both in body and mind. The Uchiha would always allow the Uzumaki to stay at his place after a battle or particularly hard day and would even allow Naruto to sleep in his bed instead of the guest bed. Waking up and smelling Sasuke's scent meant that he was safe; nothing could hurt him as long as Sasuke was around.

Naruto smiled in satisfaction; his pillow was warm. Sasuke must have gotten a self-warming pillow on his trip! Not only that, but he could hear a solid, rhythmic thumping from within the pillow. It was slow and steady, a very calming thing to listen to and focus on. This self-warming pillow was probably designed for scattered-brained people who can't sleep 'cause there are way too many thoughts swirling around their heads.

And not only that, but it moves! These pillow makers really knew how to make one freaking awesome pillow! The pillow was really warm, it has a soothing thumping sound, and it steadily moves up and down! It was kind of like sleeping on somebody's chest!

Wait. . .

Naruto cracked open an eye, and immediately pushed himself into a sitting position as soon as he saw that _was_ sleeping on a chest! SASUKE'S chest!

The blush on his face could have made fire trucks green with envy. And steam engines were hating on him.

He tried to remember if we had at anytime woken up and decided that using his best friend as a pillow was a pretty fantastic idea, but gave up quickly. All he could remember was calling Sasuke a bastard after said bastard teased him about ghosts.

AHA! THAT WAS IT!

_Obviously_ there must have been some scary ghost shit going on during the night and Naruto sought refuge in the nearest LIVING thing; Sasuke.

Confident in his self-explanation, Naruto turned his focus to waking up.

He looked around and noticed that Sasuke's eyes were also open; bleary, but awake.

"Moron, do you have any idea what time it is?" Sasuke asked in a low, dark tone. Sasuke may be many things, but a morning person was not one of them. This they shared, though they had different definitions. Naruto was not a morning person in which he would take forever to wake up, but once he did he was definitely UP. Sasuke was not a morning person in which he woke up quickly, but hated doing so and was a grouchy bastard until he had his coffee.

"Nope!" Naruto said with a smile. He knew it was early and time to wake up, because that was what the wake-up alarm meant; time to wake up. And even though he was the one who set it, Naruto had no idea what time he set it to. It was an automatic thing by now.

Sasuke growled grumpily at him and turned to his bedside table to check the time on his clock radio that Naruto had bought for him a long time ago.

"Idiot. It. Is. 7:35. A.M." Sasuke said in a menacing voice, obviously unhappy with the time.

"Right-o," Naruto replied, amused as always at Sasuke's empty anger at him. Being friends for so long had taught Naruto when Sasuke was _angry_ at him, or just angry.

"Why the _hell_ are we awake so damn early?" Sasuke glowered at him, his eyes burning with drowsy rage. Naruto imagined that was the look that those dragons that aren't supposed to be woken up would have just after waking up.

"Work." Naruto stated simply, knowing that his best friend's sleepy mind, for all of its Uchiha awesome-ness, would not be able to coherently process long sentences until after coffee.

"Isn't it Sunday?" a statement more than a question.

"Yep." Naruto answered as he stretched his arms above his head, relishing in the slight tingly feeling when he pushed them to their morning limit.

"It's the weekend." Sasuke stated in a lame sleepy version of his patronizing voice.

Naruto smiled at his best friend, he always loved it whenever he got to witness the famous Sasuke Uchiha in mid-wake-up. Sasuke was strange at these times; unguarded, grumpy, slow, and honest. Only Naruto and the man's late family _ever_ got to see Sasuke like this, it made him feel special. That, and sometimes Sasuke was just so freaking funny like this.

"Yes it is, Sasuke." Naruto clarified as he began to swing his legs over the edge of his side of the bed.

He was stopped by a hand grabbing his forearm.

"Early weekend means sleep." He pulled Naruto's arm closer to him, making Naruto lean closer to the bed he was currently trying to get off.

"For rich bastards like you," Naruto retorted, not in an unkind tone, "_some_ people have to work."

"You work for me." Sasuke said in that lame-ass echo of a patronizing voice. It amused Naruto to no end to hear it since it proved that the bastard was human.

"Exactly!" Naruto exclaimed as if it explained everything, which it clearly did.

But Sasuke did not seem to think so. He raised his eyebrow in a silent question to explain.

"You think the media has days off? Nooooooooo!" Naruto explained with a grin in response to Sasuke's grimace, "I take Saturday off and work on Sunday to prepare for the week and to spend the day declining interview requests and check your schedule to see if I havta call security or anything drastic like the airport."

"Seriously?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto nodded sagely, internally noting that this has been one of the longest conversations he's had with sleepy Sasuke, "You should give me a raise for all the work I do."

"I will." Sasuke agreed, looking up at Naruto.

"Eh? For really? I was just joking!" Naruto winced, realizing that mentioning that asking for a raise was a joke was probably a bad idea, "Actually, no it wasn't! I was totally serious. Go, raise, go!"

"Naruto…" Sasuke said in a low tone.

"I know, I know. I'm being a bit loud, aren't I? So I'll just go downstairs and make myself breakfast, then I'll do my work, which I'll be getting a raise for soon, so awesome!" Naruto babbled, completely focused on not letting Sasuke talk and take the raise away from him.

"Moron—" Sasuke tried again.

"No, no, no. I know that you hate the smell of ramen in the morning so I'll make myself toast, or something. You just lay your duck-butt head back down so you can get your precious beauty rest." Naruto ordered, already heading out the door.

The blonde hurried down to the kitchen, his stomach demanding to be fed by singing the song of its people.

When he reached the kitchen, he was cursing himself for telling the bastard upstairs that he wouldn't make ramen. He was hungry and ramen was instant! Okay, so it took three minutes, but what else that could be made in the same amount of time ever compare to RAMEN?

Eggs? Waffles? Pancakes? Took longer to make properly than _instant_ ramen.

Toast? Way too dry. Ramen was brothy _perfection_.

Cereal? Not in the mood! Naruto's stomach wanted RAMEN dammit!

"You know what?" Naruto said aloud to himself, patting his stomach, "I want ramen! Sasuke can suck it!"

"Suck what?"

Naruto unleashed a _manly_ shriek as he jumped with _manly_ surprise. He hadn't expected Sasuke to follow him downstairs so early!

"SASUKE!" Naruto shouted in his surprise, to make up for the epically _manly_ shriek that just oozed with testosterone.

Sasuke just raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

"No ramen, moron." Sasuke ordered, pushing passed the blonde to make way for the coffee maker.

Naruto made a noise of protest.

"I'll make eggs. You can gorge on cereal until then."

Throwing a glare over his shoulder, Naruto flicked Sasuke the bird as he went over to the refrigerator to grab the necessary milk.

He heard a grunt of acknowledgment to his middle finger and was satisfied.

After he filled his bowl with cereal and milk, he smiled up at his friend who was starting to scramble the eggs.

"Heeeeeey Sasuke!"

"What?"

"Did you know I'm. . ."

". . .what, moron?"

"COO-COO FOR COCO PUFFS!" Naruto exclaimed, laughing at the incredulous look his best friend sent him for his immaturity. Or what Sasuke _thought_ was immaturity. Naruto was very mature; mature meaning knowing when he COULD act immature.

"Oh, god. How did you even sneak those in?" Sasuke asked, clearly tired of this repeated immaturity every time Naruto ate Coco Puffs.

"I'm like a ninja." Naruto replied, striking a 'ninja' pose.

Sasuke snorted, "You'd be the worst ninja ever."

"Screw you, I'd be, like, the LEADER of the ninja!" Naruto exclaimed, defending his sheer awesomeness.

"I highly doubt that." Sasuke shot down, finishing up with the eggs.

"Prick. I'd so kick ass as a ninja. I'd be the goddamn ninja war hero." Naruto nodded to his cereal, who totally agreed with him.

"Loser." Sasuke insulted as he transferred the eggs to two plates.

"Whatever, YOU'D be an emo ninja." Naruto accused, reaching for his offered plate.

"And I'll bet 'emo ninjas' don't share their eggs so I'll just be keeping these." Sasuke smirked as he retracted the plate away from Naruto's reach.

"NOOOOOO! I TAKE IT BACK! You'd be an awesome ninja! Top of the class! And super classy!" Naruto cried out, desperately reaching out and waving his arms to grab the eggs.

Sasuke smirked, "Hn," and returned the plate to Naruto's reaching area.

Naruto flashed him a smile and began eating with vigor.

While he ate, Sasuke poured himself a cup of coffee. While Naruto did not care for the taste, he absolutely loved the smell; he swore to himself that one of the deal-breaking rules of any relationship he'd hopefully find one day was that his significant other would have to love coffee almost as much as Sasuke did so that he could smell it every morning.

What could he say? It was the best form of air freshener to him.

"How was it?" Sasuke asked, noticing that Naruto had finished.

His mouth still full with the delicious scrambled eggs, Naruto smiled, gave a thumbs up, and rubbed his belly.

Sasuke smirked, "So idiots really can multi-task. Can you rub your belly and pat your head?"

Naruto's smile turned into a burning glare and his thumbs up turned into the middle finger.

Sasuke's smirk grew as he held up two hands in a gesture of truce.

Naruto rolled his eyes and headed towards the living room so he could do some work.

He grabbed the TV remote and started flipping through channels, looking for a news station.

"What are you doing, idiot?"

Naruto jumped so hard that he dropped the remote.

"GEEZE, BASTARD! You need to stop stalking me!" Naruto scolded as he reached for the remote once more.

"Hn." Sasuke replied, taking a seat in his chair.

"And if you must know, I'm working." Naruto huffed, returning his attention to the TV and his channel surfing.

"Working?" Sasuke repeated, as if amused by the term.

"Hell yes, 'working'! I'm making sure you're not on the news!" Naruto explained gesturing towards the TV as he changed channels still.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted.

Naruto rolled his eyes, then gave up manually searching for a news station and switched to Sasuke's menu option. He himself didn't bother with buying Direct TV or Fios or Verizon or any of those fancy TV providers since in his opinion, they were a waste of money that could be spent on rent or food. Basic cable gave him what he wanted to watch and the internet provided the rest; that or Sasuke's sweet setup did.

Since it was Sunday, there weren't as many morning news programs, but Naruto found one.

They were going over the bad economy and interested in politics—understandably—so Naruto pulled out his bag and grabbed his work phone.

When he turned it on, he was very surprised to see that he had 137 messages.

Feeling slightly nervous, he muted the television and attracted the attention of a certain Uchiha watching said TV. Naruto gestured towards his phone and started to play the messages as Sasuke nodded his understanding.

"You have *137* voice messages." The female robot voice spoke to Naruto.

"First voice message. . .'—ut UP! I'M CALLING! . . . Hello, Naruto Uzumaki? This is Ino Yamanaka, from 'Have You Heard?' TV Magazine. You just left the airport now and I got transferred to this number so that I can tell you the information you have asked for: The woman that spoke to you is named 'Sakura Haruno' from our rival program, 'Hot News Flash!' I am assuming that I am the first to give the information and am eagerly waiting for any information about that exclusive interview with Mr. Uchiha! You can call at any time, and I mean _any_ time! My number is 555-0158. 'Kay thanks!"

"Does she really think she can land an interview by speaking in such an unprofessional manner?" Sasuke asked, making an unsuspecting Naruto jump another _manly_ jump.

"Uh. . ." Naruto scratched the back of his neck in a nervous fashion, feeling guilty. He _had_ made that interview promise without consulting Sasuke, or even really telling him about it afterwards. Poor Sasuke had just walked up to the area when Naruto had announced his declaration against that bitch _Sakura Haruno_ and probably wasn't even listening.

Naruto lowered his head, the guilt from dragging Sasuke into his mess dragging him down and his mood worsening because he was reminded about the reason WHY he had made the whole interview declaration.

Sasuke sighed, then declared, "I'll do it."

Looking up, Naruto offered, "You don't have to do it. I made that promise without asking you."

"I want to." Sasuke clipped, then paused as he considered his wording and Naruto gave him a disbelieving and bewildered look. "I want to for you." Sasuke clarified.

"But. . .WHY? You _HATE_ interviews!" Naruto reminded the man who was known to walk out of interviews mid-question.

"True, but this is important to you." Sasuke said as he got up from his chair to sit next to Naruto.

". . .not really." Naruto mumbled, looking down at his extremely interesting feet.

"Maybe not the interview itself, but the meaning behind it is. I know that she really offended you and that this is the best way to get back at her." Sasuke said in a calm, confident tone, making Naruto feel comforted.

"Yeah, but—"

"But nothing. This just means that you owe me." Sasuke said with a small smile that only Naruto ever got the pleasure to see.

Unable to contain himself, Naruto threw himself at Sasuke and wrapped his arms around his best friend in the world.

"Thank you." Naruto whispered to Sasuke, trying to show just how thankful he was that Sasuke would take part in this, just for him.

Sasuke gave a small squeeze back, so he must have gotten the message.

"Alright, then. Imma bouta work, so you kinda havta let go now." Naruto said after the hug went on after he stopped squeezing.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted, letting go, but not moving from his spot from next to Naruto.

Giving his best friend a grin, Naruto turned to his phone, which he was surprised to hear was still playing the messages about this 'Sakura Haruno'. He stopped the messages, deleting the whole bunch. Then, he dialed the number that this 'Ino' had given him.

After ringing four times, the phone was picked up.

". . .'Lo?" a slightly drowsy greeting was heard.

"Hello, Miss Yamanaka? This is Naruto Uzumaki." Naruto greeted.

It never ceased to amuse him how flustered people got whenever they got flustered because of his position of being Sasuke's PR, which was clearly happening on the other line.

"NARUTO? Omigosh! I mean, yes, Mr. Uzumaki, this is Ino Yamanaka. Is there anything I can help you with?" her voice was flushed with barely concealed excitement, making Naruto smile.

"Actually, Miss Yamanaka, it is the other way around today. I am pleased to inform you that you are indeed the first person to inform Uchiha Corp of the desired information about one Sakura Haruno. I thank you for this, and am calling to tell you that Mr. Uchiha will be available for an interview."

Naruto had to pull the phone away from his ear for a minute—and Sasuke covered his own—as a high pitched scream of excitement and delight emitted from the device.

"OMIGAWSH THIS IS AMAZING!" Ino exclaimed, not even bothering to conceal her ecstasy.

Naruto chuckled, "Yes, I am sure that it is quite amazing. Now if you would please, there are some things that need to be arranged before this interview."

"Oh, yes! Yes, of course!" Ino said rather quickly, "What kind of arrangements?"

"First of all, we need to discuss a date that will be free for the both of you." Naruto explained, motioning for Sasuke to show what days he could or could not interview. Sasuke, after knowing Naruto for years, understood his makeshift sign language.

"Oh, any day will be totally fine with me. I _would_ however, like to ask if it could be done ASAP? If that is not too much trouble, I mean." Ino hurriedly added in that last part.

Naruto could see her point; this was hot news and the sooner the better.

He turned to Sasuke, silently asking for the soonest date.

Sasuke motioned towards a day on the calendar, which Naruto gave him a questioning look that was appeased with a nod of the head.

Shrugging, Naruto addressed the woman over the phone, "Would later today around 3:30 PM be acceptable?"

"What? Of COURSE! I mean, yes, that is absolutely acceptable. Should I send over the address?" Ino sounded ecstatic about the interview happening so soon.

"That would be helpful, thank you. And another thing: you will need to fax over the questions you are planning to ask Mr. Uchiha at least two hours before the interview starts so we can let you know which ones will be acceptable to ask and which questions cannot be asked." Naruto ordered, using a tone of finality.

"Well I—" she was cut off by Naruto.

"I ask this of you because unfortunately Mr. Uchiha has a habit of walking out of interviews if he is asked the wrong question, or if he feels that things have gotten too personal." Naruto warned, shrugging at Sasuke and using his crude sign language to tell that this was the easiest way to make sure everyone there was on their best behavior around the moody Uchiha.

The Uchiha in question smirked and nodded his head to show that he agreed with what Naruto had demanded.

"Yes, of course. Yes, I understand. I can fax over the questions to you." Ino immediately replied after hearing what could happen if she did not.

"Thank you. The number is 555-1197." He gave his work fax, not wanting the reporter fangirl any access to any form of direct communication to either of Naruto's or Sasuke's homes, "We will be in touch and will see you later. And I apologize for calling so early in the morning and so late after you called me." Naruto added in the last part, re-realizing the time, around 8:00 AM.

"No, no, not at all. I am just glad you even called! And rest assured that we will follow these agreements to the letter!" Ino promised passionately.

Naruto smiled, "And thank _you_ for the information. We will see you later, and in the meantime, have a lovely day."

"I will! And thank you so, so much!" Ino practically squealed into the phone.

Naruto hung up the phone, sighed, and gave an apologetic smile to his best friend.

"Guess we'll havta go to work now?" not a question about if Sasuke understood but rather a begging for forgiveness.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted, getting up from his chair.

"And she's a squealer." Naruto started to follow Sasuke to the kitchen when he paused and just heard what he just said, "I mean she squeals really loudly! GAH, NO! I didn't mean that! Well, I did, but not like that! She's not going to squeal while you two have sex! Because you're not going to have sex!"

Sasuke gave him an amused look: a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

"Not because she doesn't want to! She'd probably squeal at the chance, because she's a squealer and all that. But _you_ wouldn't know because _you're_ asexual! Ah! Yes you _will_ know because she'll be interviewing you. You should tell her no squeals." Naruto babbled on the way to the kitchen.

"I'm not asexual." Sasuke countered, walking towards the coffee pot for a second mug.

"Cheya you are! I've never seen you with a chick and you've got literally hundreds that would just loooooooooooooooooove for you to even say hi!" Naruto exclaimed, taking his usual seat at the counter.

"That's because I'm gay, idiot." Sasuke spoke in a slow voice, as if speaking to a child.

"But I've never seen ya with a guy either, bastard!" Naruto retorted, sticking his tongue out at the insult.

Sasuke paused, and said, "Because I don't believe in just sleeping around if they aren't the One for you."

Naruto blinked, and then a wide, mischievous grin spread across his face, "Awwwwwww! Who would have guessed that my little S'ske is a hopeless romantic?"

"Hn," Sasuke grunted in reply.

"Don't deny it!" Naruto shouted, standing on the pegs of his stool, leaning against the countertop for balance.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted again, this time with a tone of finality.

"Fiiiiiiiiine. I won't tell anybody. But I can guarantee you that Kiba would have found it hilarious." Naruto sat back down on his stool, waiting for Sasuke to finish his coffee.

Sasuke sent him a glare over his black mug.

Naruto waved his arms in front of himself frantically, "Which is why he'd never know!" and laughed nervously.

Sasuke closed his eyes and gave a slight nod, continuing to drink his coffee.

"You're secret is safe with me!" Naruto struck an impromptu 'nice guy' pose, "I shall seal it up in an imaginary plastic bag and wrap that with orange duct tape along with a key! 'Why a key?' you ask? Well that's simple, you bastard! Because the imaginary taped up plastic bag will be placed in a box and locked up for eternity since the key that _could_ unlock it is locked up inside it! But since someone could still pick the lock, I'll put the box inside a secret safe! And the combination will be decided randomly by playing that card game War! Whichever card wins will be the next number in the combination! And I'll make sure to shuffle the cards real good afterwards and play many more rounds so I'll forget the combination! But there are people who can crack safes so I'll put that safe into a BIGGER safe and use the same system of choosing the combination! But _this_ time, there'll be a rig set to explode if someone cracks the combination! And that bigger safe will be placed inside a vault set Indiana Jones style with many booby traps! AH! I should call it 'penis traps' because you don't like boobies! But 'penis' is the technical word for someone's dick, where 'breast' is the technical word for boobies. So I'll call it 'The Ultimate Cock Block'!"

Throughout his chattering, Sasuke had finished his coffee.

Sasuke then placed his mug in the sink, poured a little water in it, and started to head upstairs to change. He didn't bother to tell Naruto where he was going because Naruto was following him the whole time.

"How we'd get the bombs would be a mystery to me, but it's all imaginary so it's all good. Same goes with 'The Ultimate Cock Block'. Though, that _does_ sound like an epic name. Kinda like a spoof movie thing. You know, those kinds like American Pie where proper men like you scoff at but people who appreciate funniness like me would pay to see it twice? But now that I think about it, it sounds kinda like a porno name. Well, it'd either be filled with sexy times that can't finish but show up like every three minutes or a gay one with cock rings and stuff like that." Naruto continued to chatter behind him, not minding if Sasuke found it annoying or not because the bastard should have been used to it by this point.

Sasuke showed how appreciative he was for Naruto's creative cinematography genius by rolling his eyes.

"BASTARD! IT'D BE THE GREATEST PORNO IN THE WORLD! IT'D GET MANY, MANY REVIEWS AND ALL THE LADIES WILL BE BEGGING TO HANG OUT WITH ME!" Naruto shouted as his friend disappeared into his extensive closet.

"Sure they will, moron." Sasuke sarcastically agreed, re-emerging with a dark suit in hand.

"_And_ all the boys too!" Naruto declared, revising his earlier statement since Sasuke was gay and wouldn't care about girls flocking to Naruto.

"Of course." Sasuke said with his bastardy Uchiha indifference. He placed his suit on the bed and grabbed Naruto's arm.

Being the trusting, mature man that he was, Naruto took it in stride.

"NOOOOOO! I TAKE IT BACK! _YOU_ CAN HAVE ALL THE BOYS! AND THE GIRLS! HELL, I SWEAR I WON'T PRODUCE ANY PORNOS! JUST DON'T KILL MEEEEEEEEEE!" Naruto struggled helplessly as his sadistic rival dragged him by the arm to his closet where he used to torture—tickle into submission—Naruto when they were children.

"Idiot, I'm not going to kill you. . .yet." Sasuke gave Naruto a sadistic smirk that made Naruto redouble his efforts to escape, "We are working today and you need proper work attire."

"Oh. . ." Naruto mumbled as he allowed his body to go limp, forcing the bastard to have to pull him to the closet, "Wait, I get to wear one of your suits?"

"Hn." Sasuke replied, dropping Naruto's arm unceremoniously once they entered the spacious closet; it was like a friggin' room!

"But why?" Naruto asked, weary of Sasuke giving him things for free like he was prone to at time. Naruto would refuse, of course, on the basis that he did not need any help and could afford things on his own.

"Because, moron, your apartment is all the way on the opposite side of the city in the slums. I don't want to waste my time to go to your crappy place just so you have one more suit saved for tomorrow because today is the day you take them to the drycleaners." Sasuke explained as he flipped through a couple of suits on the rack.

"Oh. . ." Naruto sat up and scratched the back of his head, a little embarrassed that he had assumed that his best friend wanted to spoil him. He also felt a little conceited for thinking that; Sasuke cared, but wouldn't fuss over him like a mother hen.

"Here." Sasuke tossed one of his more plain black suits with a black tie. Naruto did not bother to ask about the size since both men were about the same height with Sasuke only an inch or two taller.

Not a big deal, except the sadist bastard just loved lording _that_ charming detail over him every so often.

Naruto sighed as he recalled those times and began to take off his shirt so he could replace it with the boring plain white shirt that Sasuke was going to hand over to him soon.

"Moron, why is your shirt off?" Sasuke asked after he turned around with the boringest of white shirts that begged for color or some form of life in his hands.

"'Cause I know it drives you wild." Naruto joked with his asexual friend, giving him a wink and a pose.

". . .Idiot." Sasuke replied, looking over him and throwing the boring shirt at his head.

"HEY!" Naruto exclaimed, attempting to free his beautiful hair from the grips of the plain shirt that was clearly possessed.

Once he was freed, he saw that Sasuke had already left the closet. Jeeze, some people—like bastards—just can't appreciate a good joke. The bastard definitely walked into that one!

Getting changed quickly and trying to ignore his soul crying because of all the plain-ness sapping his very colorful essence, Naruto came out of the closet in record time. His personal best.

"Idiot, your tie is crooked."

"Eh?" Naruto checked his tie in the mirror. It was indeed crooked. "Well, screw it! You know I'm no good with these!"

Suddenly, Sasuke was in front of him and undoing his tie.

"I know." Sasuke said. After he undid Naruto's messy knot, he started to properly tie the tie for Naruto.

While this was happening, blue eyes darted everywhere but the face in front of him. Naruto could never understand why whenever the two were so close together like this, his stomach would start to feel funny. Not bad funny, but funny funny.

He didn't know what it was, but he never asked anybody about it. The only one he trusted enough to ask questions he was sure that people who had parents while growing up would know was Sasuke. And since it only happened when around Sasuke, Naruto was hesitant to ask; afraid that it wasn't normal and Sasuke would start treating him differently.

"There."

Naruto blinked, and then realized that the Uchiha had finished fixing his tie.

"Wow! How'd you do that?" Naruto asked, pumping more excitement than usual in order to rid himself of the funny feeling in his tummy, "I can never get these black ties to tie right! I think it's because they are so plain and boring. They should be a better color, like orange! Hey! Since you're gay and all, maybe I should get you a rainbow tie! THAT'S IT! I've decided that it is my mission in life to get you a singing, rainbow tie! Did you know that they have musical ties? They mostly pop up around Christmas time, but I'm sure that if I set my mind to it I can find one before that!"

While he chattered, Naruto followed Sasuke out of the room and through the hallway down the stairs.

He continued to babble about possible gift ideas for other people, like a new dog kennel for Kiba for when he and his huge dog Akamaru went on trips.

They both headed to Sasuke's garage and got inside Sasuke's black Mercedes Benz; not his limo. It was still somewhat earilyish, so they weren't in a rush in order to go to the office to pick up the fax from that Ino reporter.

The city traffic was not terrible, well, the work area wasn't. The shopping district was crowded, so Sasuke took some of the back roads to avoid them.

Being the CEO, Sasuke had the master key card to the entire Uchiha Corp building, including the garage.

Even though there were literally hundreds of parking spots and Naruto insisting that they take the chance to be mild rebels and take up as many parking spaces as they could in one bad parking job, Sasuke still parked—perfectly—in his official parking spot.

Naruto called Sasuke a boring bastard, and followed him into the building.

It was a little creepy walking through the deserted building, but he held firm onto Sasuke's sleeve and told the sadist that if he intentionally scared Naruto then he would tell Ino some of the happy memories the two had shared as children including the time Naruto had convinced Sasuke to be the Mommy when they were playing house because his hair was longer.

He also threatened to include the little detail that it was also a game of dress-up. So while Naruto was wearing one of Fugaku Uchiha's old coats and shoes while carrying an overly large—for a child so young—briefcase, Sasuke was wearing one of Mikoto Uchiha's Sunday dresses and high heels while sporting her favorite apron _and _lipstick, because he was the Mommy. Lucky for them, Mikoto had found the entire thing to be so adorable that she not only allowed it and made sure Fugaku did not scold them but took pictures, which Naruto had kept for blackmailing purposes such as this.

After hitting him quite hard on the head, Sasuke agreed to protect Naruto from any hidden monsters of ghosts that might dwell in the capital of evil, aka 'work'.

The trip upstairs went without incident. The two soon made it to the top floor to Naruto's adjoining albeit way smaller office next to Sasuke's.

They saw that Ino had indeed faxed over the questions she was planning on asking Sasuke and started looking through it after going to Sasuke's office so he could check e-mail while Naruto worked.

Without bothering to ask Sasuke, Naruto crossed out any personal questions like who his ideal girlfriend—not boyfriend, because what Sasuke Uchiha fangirl could _possibly_ assume their Greek god was gay—would be, boxers or briefs, and a description of a perfect date as well as other romantic questions.

"Stupid." Naruto muttered under his breath as he crossed out the question about what would Sasuke's perfect date be.

"What's 'stupid'?" Sasuke asked from his seat behind the computer. He looked up to face Naruto who was sitting across from him in his own chair he had pulled from his own office.

Naruto met his gaze for a moment before turning back to cross out a question regarding Sasuke's favorite flowers.

"Nothing. This Ino chick had written down what your ideal date would be." He explained his mutterings as he crossed out the question about flowers. So far, the only question that was not crossed out was asking how Sasuke was doing that day.

"Oh?" Sasuke inquired, turning back to his work as well, but still paying attention like he always did.

"And a whole lot of 'personal' questions as if knowing these will help her bag you. It's so stupid. _I_ know the answers to these questions about you and practically _all_ my friends, but you don't see me be pimpin' with all my bitches." Naruto rolled his eyes as he crossed out a question regarding Sasuke's favorite colors, "Just because someone knows these 'personal' answers doesn't mean that person will fall in love with them."

"What kind of answers?" Sasuke asked, his tone somewhere between bored something else. Naruto thought it sounded like Sasuke really wanted to know whether or not Naruto knew the answers, but quickly passed that since duh Naruto knew.

He knew that Sasuke had actually preferred Mikoto Uchiha's 'London Red Hot #6280' over her 'Maybelline Strawberry Cream 145' lipstick when they were playing house as kids; Sasuke liked the brighter red and Naruto had later gone and asked Mikoto exactly which two lipsticks they were after he learned what great blackmail material it made. So hells yea he knew these answers!

Naruto pointed at some of the crossed out questions and started rattling off the answers, "You were born on July 23rd and your zodiac sign is Cancer, though you don't give a shit about that astronomical stuff because you think it's a whole bunch of superstitious bullshit only those without direction buy into.

"You don't have an ideal girlfriend because despite your asexual tendencies: you are gay. And you'd want someone who can deal with your emo-ness and take your mind off of the jerks and floozies you deal with every day. Probably someone calm and boring and that shit, but hey, to each his own.

"You prefer boxers. Itachi once told you that real men wear boxers and you personally think that briefs look a little bit like a cross between those weird long swimsuits and tighty whities.

"Your favorite color is blue, mostly darker shades but can appreciate all the shades. You also like black, you emo. Red and a little bit of white are up there too, but that is mostly because you grew up with them, what with them being your family crest colors and all.

"You don't have a favorite flower because you were never into them. Sure you like them, but it was mostly your mom and I who pay attention to the flowers and you kinda don't notice them until they are pointed out to you and even then you can barely differentiate besides color. You do like honey suckles though, mostly because we used to sneak outside your mansion and eat the little honey pieces when we were told we couldn't have snacks so close to dinner because we thought we were outsmarting your mom. Plus you think they smell nice.

"Your ideal date would be a balance between casual and extravagant. You'd make your date choose their favorite usual restaurant and hangouts so they'd feel comfortable since you probably wouldn't talk all that much and it'd just be awkward if they were in a stuffy place with someone as stoic and bastardy as you. But, you would insist on the most expensive things, allowing them to splurge so they'd be comfortable and happy. You'd do the same for their favorite hangouts. Then you'd top the evening with a flash of fancy, either driving them home in your fancy car, or if it went _really_ well, you'd get a fancy room in a fancy shmancy hotel."

Naruto returned his attention back to the questions and said, "And you're doing fine thanks, and thank Ino for having you." Answering the first question and only one to pass inspection so far.

Sasuke was silent, so Naruto glanced back up again, and was unable to look away.

Sasuke was staring at him in a sort of shock, and that pissed Naruto off!

"Wipe that stupid expression off your face, bastard! I've known you since kindergarten and you were practically my only friend until high school and you are _still_ number one in my friggin' book so you can bet your ass I know these so called 'personal' answers!" Naruto glared at his best friend.

His scolding must have woken Sasuke up because instead of gaping like an idiot, the proud Uchiha was smiling softly at Naruto, which threw off his glare.

"You're right," Sasuke conceded, much to Naruto's immediate delight, "I'm just touched by how well you know me. I appreciate it and it brings me happiness. Thank you."

"It—it's no big deal. . .bastard." Naruto threw in the insult because he was not used to being sincerely thanked, much less by _SASUKE_ who almost _never_ thanked _anybody_!

". . .I don't think even my family knew much about me when they were alive." Sasuke confessed, still looking into Naruto's eyes.

The confession was what had hit Naruto like enthusiastic kids with a whack-a-mole mallet with an understanding of just how much his answering the questions correctly and details meant to Sasuke.

Naruto scratched the back of his head in embarrassment since he still wasn't used to being thanked and said, "You're welcome!" with a smile.

The two shared a smile—in an extremely bromantic manly way of course, filled with testosterone and mustaches and all that manly stuff—and each went back to work; Sasuke deleting what he called 'spam mail' (former business partners and other non-important companies searching meaningless 'deals' via sucking up to him) and Naruto reviewing Ino's questions.

"Hey, after personal questions, there are a few 'professional' questions about your recent deal thingy that I'm leaving, but then there are a buncha questions about what happened at the airport. Should I cross them out, or leave them?" Naruto asked, looking up at his boss.

"Leave them." Sasuke answered.

Naruto understood that logic so he just nodded her understanding; the whole interview was happening because of what happened in the airport and a whole bunch of other reporters had witnessed it, so it would make sense for Sasuke to clear it up.

"MMkay, so should we go over what happened so you won't get caught off guard and all that jazzy stuff?" Naruto asked as he stood up after leaving a note reminding Ino to not stray from the allowed questions.

"There won't be a need for 'jazzy stuff' as you have already told me what happened." Sasuke answered, exiting out of his e-mail.

"You sure? She may mention something that I forgot about." Naruto called from his office, faxing over the revised version of Ino's questions.

Naruto could hear amusement in Sasuke's voice as he pointed out, "If you forgot about it, then what help will retelling what happened minus what escapes your memory?"

"Shut up, bastard!" Naruto retorted, watching the fax machine work its technology-magic.

"Plus recalling it you'd get upset and pissed and I don't want to deal with that now." Sasuke said, closing the adjoining door behind him upon entering Naruto's smaller office.

Although his words were harsh, Naruto could hear the concern in Sasuke's voice. He wasn't entirely sure how to feel about it so he chose pissed.

"You bastard! You should feel great sympathy! SHE KNOCKED DOWN MY RAMEN!" Naruto shouted angrily, shaking his head to get the tragic image of spilled ramen out of his head.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted, opening the door for Naruto.

"Bastard." Naruto grumbled, gathering his jacket and leaving his office, "You're taking me out to ramen as an apology for disrespecting it."

Sasuke grunted, "Hn," again, making Naruto wonder if the man had a weird aversion to vowels.

The two left the building much like going into it; Naruto clutching Sasuke's sleeve despite there being nothing to worry about. The two then went to the garage and got in the car. Just before they left the property, Sasuke used his Master key card to lock it down, not that anybody would be crazy enough to break into the building _Sasuke Uchiha_ owned.

After exiting Uchiha Corp property, Sasuke drove on the back roads to the employee parking lot in the back of Naruto's favorite restaurant, Ichiraku Ramen.

Naruto had once been an employee of this little piece of heaven on earth, and had been a long time customer dating back to elementary school. This was part of the reason Sasuke was allowed to park in the back instead of in finding a parking spot in the city like everyone else.

The other part was because of Sasuke's new fame. Unlike most restaurant owners who would jump at the chance for an unofficial celebrity endorser like THE Sasuke Uchiha, Teuchi and his daughter Ayame valued customer satisfaction more than the size of the crowd.

And seeing that a very large chunk of their profits came from Sasuke's wallet who paid for Naruto's black hole of a stomach, they made extra sure that these two were satisfied. Not that it was hard to keep Naruto satisfied at his favorite place on earth, all he needed was somewhere to sit and their ramen to eat. Sasuke was simple as well; he did not want to be bothered.

Besides that, Teuchi was more than content with how business was and saw no reason to expand. They had steady customers and always made a profit, especially on days that Naruto would eat there, which was about once a week. In fact, Teuchi was the one who suggested that they park in the employee parking lot and had asked Naruto to make sure that them being regular customers at his restaurant remained a secret, to which Sasuke had left him a big tip he used to buy Ayame a new car.

Upon arriving, Naruto and Sasuke headed straight to their regular seats at the counter in front of the kitchen.

"Old man!" Naruto called out in greeting, grinning ear to ear.

"Naruto!" Teuchi answered, turning around and returning the smile, and a polite nod towards the one who would pay the bill. He then began to work on their orders, knowing them by heart after all the years of knowing the two customers.

"Naruto?" Ayame called, coming from the back and entering the kitchen.

Naruto smiled even wider, "Hi Ayame! How's the transition from head waitress to manager?"

"Pretty seamless," Ayame laughed, stepping out of the way for a chef to enter the kitchen, "I've been pretty much doing the work for years, but now I officially trump everyone but Dad."

Naruto and Ayame chattered between themselves with Teuchi chiming in every so often, all enjoying catching up with each other while the owner and daughter focused on their two favorite and most loyal customers while the other chefs and waitresses dealt with the rest of the relaxed restaurant.

Sasuke observed the conversation, smirking every so often, enjoying the tranquility of the atmosphere and not being asked to comment about everything since the other three knew his antisocial-ness so well.

The conversation did not end when their meals were served, but rather picked up. Naruto would slurp happily away, letting Ayame and Teuchi get more stories in before they were interrupted by Naruto's infectious laughter and urges to continue, ignoring that it was he who had interrupted.

The conversations ranged from memories of when the two customers were in elementary school and asking the two workers what a date was to the sharing shock and anger at how the pink bitch from crazy town knocked over Naruto's ramen since Teuchi and Ayame both knew first-hand how seriously Naruto took his ramen.

The four spent quite a while chatting, until Sasuke pointed out that they had to leave in order to arrive on time for the interview.

Pouting, Naruto could swear that sometimes he hated his job and missed working at Ichiraku Ramen. But he manned up and bade his goodbye.

After Sasuke paid for his fourteen bowls, the two went back to the car and started driving towards the studio where the interview would be taken.

Once arriving there, Naruto was surprised to see many cars in the parking lot. Then Sasuke explained that they were preparing for tomorrow's segment and it was pretty much an all week thing with shorter hours than a regular office job.

The two entered the building and went to the security office to get their passes and to be escorted to the proper floor and room, requesting to avoid fangirls as much as possible.

Though security did their best, they could not block out the squeals of ecstasy when young women saw Sasuke.

When they arrived on set, they saw many people milling about, looking busy doing TV stuff Naruto didn't understand. They also saw the blonde woman with a long ponytail from the airport on set speaking to a camera.

"And stay tuned for later when 'Have You Heard' gets a word with THE Sasuke Uchiha." The woman with long blonde hair in a curve-hugging purple dress spoke with a large, TV smile on her face. Naruto assumed that this was the Ino girl who he spoke with earlier.

"Alright," someone from behind the camera but not the camera man called, "and now the commercial."

Ino, or so Naruto assumed, nodded her head and turned back to the camera.

"Tonight on 'Have You Heard', we got an exclusive interview with THE Sasuke Uchiha, the youngest CEO of Uchiha Corp history, who'll speak about the company's recent success, and a few questions about the latest scandal we're sure you've 'Heard'." She gave the camera a wink.

"Alright, thanks." The mysterious voice spoke again!

"Is there anything else?" the blonde asked the voice.

"Yea, can you do a few more variations of the 'Stay Tuned'?" the voice asked.

The probably Ino chick nodded and turned back to the camera.

"Scandal?" Naruto whispered to Sasuke, making sure to cover his mouth with the magical hand wall of silence.

"The airport." Sasuke whispered back. He was so damn sneaky that he didn't need the handwall.

"Ohhhhh." Naruto whispered back, wondering to himself what was so scandalous.

"Ah, Mr. Uzumaki!" a woman said after turning around after security had finished whispering to her, "Welcome!"

Naruto smiled pleasantly and shook her hand, "Thank you for having us. I trust you have received our instructions?" he was assuming that she was high up on the show's food chain; otherwise the security guy wouldn't have chosen her to greet them.

Besides, being Sasuke's PR had taught him to give directions and orders straight away to show that Sasuke Uchiha means business, and the policy had worked pretty well so far and had gotten the message across very well.

"Yes we did, and we'll make sure that they are followed." The woman spoke in a professional manner, which Naruto appreciated. He was expecting preppy snobs.

"Thank you very much Ms.?" Naruto paused, allowing the woman to interject her name while Naruto continued to smile politely.

"Porter," the woman supplied, "Mrs. Porter."

"Mrs. Porter then," Naruto repeated her name for her, "and when and where will the interview take place?"

"Just in the other room." Mrs. Porter replied, leading the way to the hallway, "We'll give Mr. Uchiha a little bit of makeup so he'll be camera ready then we'll proceed with the interview. It shouldn't take more than an hour."

"Of course," mentally reasoning that since it's a half hour show and Sasuke's portion would at most take about ten minutes, "and if you would not mind, I have a few more arrangements I need to make with the director of this show, or whoever calls the big shots." Naruto allowed himself a little bit of unprofessional speak because he truly did not know who was in charge.

"That would be me." Mrs. Porter giggled, "I'm the overall director and wife of the producer so what I say goes."

Naruto smiled and said, "Then I hope that we get on your good side, ma'am."

Mrs. Porter laughed and said, "I'm sure you will be, dear."

She then opened a door to the makeup room and led them to where Sasuke would sit.

A young, blushing makeup artist approached them, bursting with smiles.

Naruto smiled at her and said, "Mr. Uchiha does not particularly like the makeup process, so if you would be so kind as to use the minimal amount?"

The smile on the makeup girl's face waned when she turned to Naruto, but she managed a, "Yes, of course."

"Great! Mr. Uchiha greatly appreciates your work." Naruto told the blushing girl, knowing full well that Sasuke didn't give a damn. But they both knew from experience that most of his fangirls would rush to do his bidding if they heard that their precious Sasuke might smile and thank them.

As expected, the blush on her face completely overtook whatever non-red color on her face as she bit back a squeal and nodded.

As she worked, Naruto turned his attention back to his boss.

"Usual advertisement thing?" Naruto asked, intentionally keeping his words vague because both the makeup girl and Mrs. Porter were avidly listening to whatever he was talking about with THE Sasuke Uchiha.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted in reply, making eye contact through the mirror.

"Alrighty then, should I go over them now or after the interview?" Naruto asked, turning to face the mirror.

"I don't need a babysitter during the interview." Sasuke said, ignoring the sigh of the fangirl after hearing his perfect voice.

"Sooo. . .during?" Naruto asked.

"Hn." Sasuke affirmed.

"Well excuse me. . ._sir_," Naruto caught himself from calling his boss a bastard in front of the sure to be gossipy ladies, "but that's not the usual time for it so I got confused!"

"Hn." Amusement colored Sasuke's tone.

Naruto sent Sasuke a quick glare through the mirror before turning back to Mrs. Porter, "Would it be alright with you if we went over further arrangements during the interview?" All asked with a disarming smile Naruto had perfected over the years.

"Oh, I well, y-yes, that would be acceptable." Mrs. Porter caved under the combined might of Naruto's infectious smile and a quick glance made by Sasuke.

"Great!" Naruto professionally cheered and turned back to Sasuke who was silently communicating through a glare how bored he was and how much he disliked makeup time.

Naruto shrugged and grinned, telling Sasuke to suck it up and deal with it like a man.

Sasuke exhaled a little of air through his nose, telling Naruto that this _was_ him sucking it up.

Naruto puckered his lips and batted his eyelashes, teasing Sasuke that he was probably enjoying the hell outa makeup time and was just complaining to save face.

Sasuke glared, making Naruto raise his hands in peace.

Finally, the makeup girl was done. She blushed and cooed in a sickly sweet, even for Naruto, "Finished!" expecting something like Sasuke sweeping her into a kiss and telling her that her work was so exquisite that he wanted her to be his wife.

Or something else as improbable like that.

Sasuke met her gaze and nodded his 'appreciation' for her work.

Even though it sucked, it was enough for the girl judging by her squeal.

"If you would follow me." Mrs. Porter led them out of the room into another one nearby. This one was cozy with two director chairs by a high table so only the torsos needed to be seen. There were three cameras, two set to each chair and one in the center to catch them both in the shot.

Without any direction for which spot was his, Sasuke walked to the chair somewhat facing the door; probably so he could leave immediately after the interview was over.

"I'll seeya soon." Naruto called out to his best friend as Mrs. Porter led him to her office.

Once inside her office, the two took their respective seats. Being polite, Naruto allowed Mrs. Porter to have the first word.

"So what kind of extra arrangements are we to be discussing?" she asked, she looked confident, but her tone was hesitant and showed Naruto that she was trepid about what he might say, probably having heard what Naruto had said about Sasuke having a habit of walking out of interviews.

Naruto smiled peaceably and said in a calming tone, "We just want to ensure that nothing Mr. Uchiha says will be slandered on your show, taken out of context, or otherwise sully his words."

"_Oh_!" Mrs. Porter's demeanor visibly brightened as she processed that her show was not in danger of being ostracized by Uchiha Corp like their rival show 'Hot News Flash' one Ms. Sakura Haruno was a part of, "Oh, yes, of course! We'll make sure that does not happen on our show!"

"Excellent," Naruto smiled wider, showing the other that he was pleased by her agreeing with him and reinforcing that she was in no danger, "and if it is at all possible, we would very much appreciate an advanced copy of the interview so we can make sure for ourselves that it is acceptable for viewers."

Mrs. Porter looked a little hesitant, so Naruto quickly added, "I am sure that nothing will be wrong with the interview, but every so often a reporter will try to sneak in a question that was not agreed upon or things get edited so Mr. Uchiha's answers are taken out of context or slandered. This is merely a precaution and a security net. But I am sure that you will pass with flying colors. After all, this isn't some unprofessional show like 'Hot News Flash'."

Mrs. Porter brightened once more at the compliment for them and the insult to their rivals. Naruto had purposefully done so in order for Mrs. Porter to grasp that it really was a security net of sorts and so she'd be more inclined to agree with him.

"That makes sense; those 'Hot News' people always do poor editing in order to make their stories seem more interesting despite taking things out of context!" Mrs. Porter shook her head with an air of superiority, "We agree with your terms!"

Naruto smiled and said, "Thank you." Then he continued saying, "If all goes well, then we may be in touch for another interview."

Mrs. Porter swelled with excitement and Naruto cut in before she could exclaim her excitement in loud shrills, "We will still hold the right to decline, but if we are satisfied with how professional the proceedings are, then we will be more inclined to agree than with other stations."

"Of course! Of course! Thank you so much!" Mrs. Porter exclaimed.

The two made arrangements for quick editing so that a demo could be e-mail to Naruto before 8:00pm and Naruto assured that it would most likely be agreed to and that he would send Mr. Uchiha's thoughts about it in a quick reply.

The two then went outside the interview room, waiting for it to be over. Neither of them wanting to disrupt an interview in progress, so they engaged in small talk.

Naruto had a lot of fun speaking with the married woman as he was able to test out his theory of the weather not being a bland topic, even without talking about natural disaster weather like hurricanes or epic droughts.

Instead, he struck a conversation by describing how he loved the city's weather, having grown up with it. He asked Mrs. Porter what kind of weather she was used to and it turned out that she was originally from a sunnier place nicknamed the Land of Sand because of how dry it was. They transitioned to weather they haven't seen or witnessed only a few times like blizzards or hail storms.

Time had flown by while describing the weather and before they knew it, the door opened, signaling that the interview was over.

While he walked into the studio, Naruto grinned and told people who thought that weather conversations were the height of awkward could stick it where the sun don't shine.

"Hey Sasuke!" Naruto called, making his way over to the two seated people.

Sasuke nodded his head in greeting. That was boring, so Naruto turned to the blonde he was ninety-five percent sure was Ino.

Taking a chance, he said, "And hello, Ino!" she smiled as the name was mentioned so the ninety-five turned into a one-hundred percent, "Thank you again for giving us the wanted information."

"It was no problem," Ino easily replied, striking Naruto as someone he wouldn't mind hanging out with, "sorry if I sounded way too jazzed up over the phone. I can get carried away sometimes."

"Don't worry, I do that too." Naruto assured the other with a smile that she brightly returned, "I trust the interview went well?"

"Oh yes, very well." Ino replied, sending Sasuke a glance.

Naruto looked between them, but Sasuke only stare back at him with his bastardy stoic and unreadable expression. Bastard.

"I'll walk you guys out." Ino offered, standing up.

"Thank you!" Naruto answered for the both of them, knowing the bastard would only grunt in reply.

As they walked through the building, Naruto had a burning question that he needed to ask the reporter.

"Uhhh, do you mind if I ask ya somethin' a little unprofessional?" Naruto whispered, matching her pace.

"Go ahead." Ino smiled up at him and continued walking forwards since Sasuke was making it clear that he wanted to go home and avoid squealing fangirls.

"Do you know anything about what happened with that Sakura chick after the airport?" Naruto asked in a hushed tone, feeling slightly guilty for gossiping like this.

Ino burst out laughing and answered in giddy tones, "Sakura? After security took her to their head, she started screaming that they'd be sorry because she's the future 'Mrs. Sasuke Uchiha' and that Sasuke wouldn't stand for it so they'd better let her go. Security laxed their 'no camera' rule during the whole thing because it was so damn funny!"

She smiled up at Naruto again and explained, "After that, she was fired from 'Hot News Flash' because of all the damage she caused them. And she didn't take _that_ quietly either! When she was kicked out—almost literally—she tried to set up a facebook protest on their page, but then she was blocked. So she started ranting on Twitter about how unfair everyone is to her and how they should realize that they are talking to THE 'Mrs. Sasuke Uchiha'!"

Naruto couldn't help but laugh along with Ino after she finished explaining. Some of the bastard's fangirls could be the friggin' overlord of crazy town!

"Oh! And before I forget!" Ino rushed over to the security desk in the lobby they just arrived in. She rushed back with INSTANT RAMEN in her hands, "I called down and asked if they could prepare you a cup in replacement for the one Sakura knocked over in the airport."

She was suddenly swept by a hug by Naruto who was cheering, "THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!"

"N-no problem!" Ino looked slightly taken aback by Naruto's enthusiasm.

"I told you he took ramen seriously." Sasuke cut in, pulling the blonde back by the shoulder.

"I can see you weren't kidding!" Ino laughed, taking a respectable step backwards and using a polite tone when addressing Mr. Uchiha.

"Eh? What?" Naruto asked, clutching the precious ramen close to his chest and looking between the two others.

"Nothing, idiot." Sasuke sighed, taking Naruto's elbow and leading him out the door.

Ino laughed pleasantly and called, "Don't feel shy to keep in touch! I'd love to hang out with you as friends without any reporter stuff!"

"Will do!" Naruto called back, waving as he was led outside to the garage.

The drive back to Sasuke's place was comparatively quick now that Naruto had some ramen in his hands.

He told Sasuke that Mrs. Porter had agreed to their terms and would e-mail a demo of the interview tonight. In return, Sasuke did not mention the interview, despite being called a bastard many times.

When they got to Sasuke's place, they decided to make an early dinner, both ignoring how Naruto had literally been eating almost the whole time they were out since they knew it wouldn't make a difference.

Naruto had originally wanted ramen, but was shot down immediately. Sasuke decided on curry and while he made that, Naruto made the rice and started to describe this one curry shop he and a few other friends discovered named 'The Curry of Life'.

The description lasted all throughout dinner as Naruto had told Sasuke that it was the basic theme of the camping trip he and the friends had went on. The blonde described how one friend was practically the embodiment of the title as he had never had so much raw energy after consuming food than he did with that particular curry. Naruto laughed as he recalled how his prim and proper friend had practically passed out due to the spicy level thus making Naruto and they guy's girlfriend wonder if they should rename the shop.

After dinner, Naruto felt like he hadn't gotten enough exercise that day so he challenged Sasuke to a spar. Sasuke shot it down, claiming that that sort of thing was a Friday or Saturday thing since they both needed to wake up early for work the next day and he didn't want Naruto to complain about bruises that Sasuke would inflict upon him.

Naruto called Sasuke a bastard and challenged him to a game of hide-and-go-seek, which Sasuke agreed to only if Naruto was 'it' first.

Surprised by the bastard agreeing to such a 'childish' game so easily, Naruto went to go count and was weary of his opponent, shouting out that inside the house didn't count.

After Naruto had counted, he had spent literally an hour running around the Uchiha grounds because he swore he kept seeing and hearing rustling from Sasuke out-running him by seconds.

When 7:30 rolled around, Naruto had shouted out that he wasn't giving up, but they should probably stop soon because he was expecting an e-mail from Mrs. Porter with the demo.

After that, Naruto heard some rustling in their old childhood favorite tree. He ran up to it and peered through the thick branches and shouted, "A-HA! FOUND YOU, YOU BASTARD!"

Then he got pissed. Sasuke was sitting against the tree on one of the branches reading a book and with a pile of pebbles besides him that he had probably used to make the rustling sounds after he threw them.

Sasuke called him an idiot and jumped down from the tree, landing perfectly like the bastard he was.

Naruto grumbled about how much of a bastard Sasuke was and Sasuke called him an idiot.

They went inside and while Sasuke started up his laptop so his PR could check his e-mail, Naruto went to the kitchen to grab some microwave popcorn.

When Naruto returned, he saw that his e-mail was already up.

"HEY!" he exclaimed, both pissed that Sasuke had opened it without his permission and worried since he never told Sasuke his new password.

"You need to get more creative. Naming your password after your old wallet 'Gama-chan' is easy to guess." Sasuke scolded, making room for Naruto next to him.

"Only for bastards like you." Naruto mumbled, thinking he was quite clever for his password being a part of his past that he never shared with anyone besides Sasuke and for not creating another variation of 'ramen'.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted, downloading the demo of the interview sent by Mrs. Porter so they could watch it.

After it finished downloading, Sasuke blew it up so it covered the whole screen and sat back with Naruto to watch it.

The camera was facing Ino who introduced herself. Then, she did an introduction for Sasuke and the camera switched to him giving his 'sexy smirk' that never failed to woo anyone; except Naruto who was immune most of the time and who was currently glaring at Sasuke for manipulating the audience like he was doing.

Ino asked a couple of questions, not many, about Uchiha Corp's recent successful deal, and Sasuke had answered the questions with the company lines, but in a smooth fashion that Naruto knew made those fangirls swoon. Manipulative bastard.

"It sounds like everything went quite smoothly." Naruto heard Ino say, making him turn his attention back to the laptop monitor.

"Quite so." Sasuke replied, giving an easy smirk; never a grin in public. That only happened if Naruto caught him off guard and did something amazing.

"But not so smoothly when you got back." Ino segued into the 'scandal' as she had earlier put it.

Sasuke shook his head to agree with what Ino had said.

"Can you tell us what happened?" Ino asked, leaning against the table a little.

Sasuke nodded and said, "While my PR, Naruto Uzumaki, was picking me up from the airport, some reporters started to bombard him despite security making it clear that reporters would not be allowed." Sasuke did not mention that Ino was part of that crowd, nor did she herself mention it.

"He answered their questions regarding Uchiha Corp's recent success, but one Sakura Haruno declared that she would not accept such an answer. Mr. Uzumaki then elaborated on his answer regarding the success, but Ms. Haruno deemed it unacceptable; claiming that the answer she wanted was a proposal to her from me despite my not know her.

"Mr. Uzumaki tried to calm her down, but she caused a scene by openly ridiculing him, calling him unsavory names I won't repeat all the while claiming her and my lack of marriage to be his fault for some reason. After she shouted at him, she physically assaulted him and knocked over his instant ramen he had brought with him for the wait, having missed breakfast."

Ino gasped when Sasuke mentioned the ramen being dropped and Naruto saw a glimmer of appreciation in Sasuke's eyes—from knowing him so well for so long—as he nodded gravely and continued.

"After the assault, she demanded to Mr. Uzumaki, while insulting him, that he was obligated to set up a date between her and myself. He told this woman making the scene to be quiet while he addressed to the surrounding crowd that Uchiha Corp does not and will not cooperate with unprofessional people who would attack their employees in such a manner.

"To avoid making a scene like Ms. Haruno did, Mr. Uzumaki asked her fellow reporters for her professional information such as her name and which station she represents, 'Hot News Flash', and let it known that Uchiha Corp will not associate with them or anyone who agrees with Ms. Haruno's unprofessional and insulting manner."

Naruto was impressed with how Sasuke had portrayed the 'scandal'. While not really an embellishment, he had successfully worded it in such a way that made that Sakura bitch into some crazy psycho running around declaring to be married to her idol—which she was—and Naruto to be calm and professional—which he was. Sasuke was definitely a talented linguist.

"And do you stand by what your PR, Mr. Naruto Uzumaki, said?" Ino asked, no longer leaning against the table.

Sasuke nodded, slight anger lacing his tone, "I fully support Mr. Uzumaki. He has been my best friend for many years and he did _not_ deserve to be attacked unprovoked."

"How do you feel about how the matter was settled?" Ino asked.

Sasuke's tone was decidedly lighter, though it was more noticeable to Naruto, "I am quite proud of Mr. Uzumaki and how he handled the situation."

"Why?" Ino's voice prodded.

Sasuke smirked again and explained, "When he was younger, he would start fist fights with people who insulted him. It didn't matter if they were girls or boys; he did not like getting insulted, especially when they had no basis other than the other feeling superior to him. So I'm proud of him for being able to act in such a professional way, as opposed to the delusional Ms. Haruno."

Ino smiled and said, "It sounds like you two are quite close."

Naruto could _swear_ he saw the faintest of grins in Sasuke's smirk, but it was impossible. Sasuke had never grinned in an interview; EVER!

"We've been best friends since we were little. He was there when I learned of my family's accident and stood by me all this time. He is my most precious person."

Naruto froze, his eyes locked on the screen with Sasuke's as he glanced at the camera.

The rest of the interview was a blur to Naruto. He could vaguely hear questions about plans for the future, but his mind couldn't focus on that. All he could think about was that Sasuke had said _on camera_ that Naruto was his 'most precious person'.

Tears of happiness threatened to creep into Naruto's eyes; no one had ever called him 'precious'. It was always 'monster', or 'cursed', or 'demon'. The best he had ever heard in regards to himself was 'important', and that was by his favorite middle-school teacher, Iruka, who had took him under his wing after learning the other teacher's distaste for the 'cursed monster student'.

Sasuke had also called him 'important' when Naruto had demanded to know why he continued to protect him, but he had never used the word 'precious'!

'_He is my most precious person.'_

"Naruto. The interview is over."

Sasuke's voice in reality cut across Sasuke's voice in Naruto's mind swirling with those words.

"What? Oh, uh, yeah. Over, huh? Well, uh, what should we say? Is it okay? Or should we tell them to cut out some things because that whole 'precious' thing could be taken out of context you know. . .and, uh, that could be. . .that could be bad if it did because then there would be a lot of controversy. So should I tell them to take it out—"Naruto's babbling was cut off.

"—No. Leave it as it is." Sasuke's voice commanded from next to him. But Naruto did not look at him in fear of what could happen if he saw Sasuke's eyes.

He had no idea what was going on and it scared him.

"Are. . .are you sure? Because this _is_ one of those gossipy shows and it would be very easy to take things out of context. Plus, that 'are we close' question thingy wasn't on the list of approved questions so we are totally able to tell them to edit that out." Naruto chattered, staring hard at the now blank screen.

"What context do you think it is in?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto froze again. Why was Sasuke messing with him? Sasuke could _only_ have meant that they are best friends because that's how it always was! Sasuke was the bastard and Naruto was the idiot!

Why was Sasuke being so damn sadistic? Did he really enjoy watching Naruto squirm like this? Naruto _knew_ that he could never be somebody's 'the One'. No one would want an idiotic, cursed monster like him. Those people all throughout his education life made that very clear to Naruto.

So why was Sasuke being so mean? Did he actually want Naruto to admit it? Did he want Naruto to say aloud that no one could love him? Naruto always knew he was a bastard, but he never knew Sasuke could be _THIS_ cruel!

Unable to stand it, the tears of happiness turned into tears of frustrated sorrow and poured down from Naruto's eyes.

"Naruto?" Sasuke sounded alarmed, "What's wrong? What happened?"

". . .why?" Naruto asked, his voice breaking, "Why do you hate me?"

"What?!" Sasuke asked, breaking his Uchiha cool demeanor and sounding alarmed, surprised, and a little angry, "I don't hate you!"

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Naruto shouted, pushing himself away from the bastard, "I KNOW! I _KNOW_ THAT NO ONE COULD LOVE THE CURSED MONSTER SO WHY MAKE ME SAY IT? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?! ARE YOU SATISFIED?!"

"Naruto, what are you talking about?" Sasuke sounded truly confused and his voice was getting closer to him so Naruto jumped off the couch.

"I KNOW THE CONTEXT! IT'S ONLY AS FRIENDS BECAUSE NO ONE CAN LOVE A DEMON!" Naruto shouted, backing against the wall, covering his face to hide his tears.

"Don't say that." Sasuke's voice was softer, and close to him.

"THEN WHY MAKE ME SAY IT?" Naruto cried, almost in hysterics; his whole life he had thought that Sasuke never saw him as a cursed monster. Having the cruel bastard break that illusion was too much for Naruto to handle.

This time, Sasuke spoke in his confident and calm voice, "I did not want to you say that."

Instantly, upon hearing that tone, Naruto felt himself calm down like he had so many times in the past. But this time, he did not allow himself to hug his problems away, even though he was currently craving physical affection to prove to himself that people would not cringe away from his touch like they used to.

"What?" Naruto asked in a watery tone. He discreetly wiped his tears away but still refused to look anywhere near the Uchiha approaching him.

Using the same tone, Sasuke said, "I never thought of you as a monster. Or cursed. Or as a demon. You have always been Naruto, someone who is precious to me."

'_Precious_'. There was that word again.

"I didn't mean for you to recall the past and for that I apologize." Sasuke said in his calming voice.

Naruto hesitated, still avoiding looking at Sasuke and asked, "You. . .you didn't?"

"No." Sasuke answered immediately and annunciated the word so there was no question about his sincerity.

Sasuke offered his hand to Naruto's line of sight and Naruto took it, allowing his best friend to lead him back to the couch. Normally, Naruto would lean against Sasuke, but he felt to guilty about accusing Sasuke of thinking Naruto was a monster that he scooched away from him.

". . .sorry I yelled at you. . ." Naruto mumbled, curling into himself in a sitting fetal position.

"I'll forgive you every time." Sasuke replied, ignoring Naruto's attempt to sit away from him and sitting next to the protected ball of blonde.

"Why?" Naruto asked, finally looking up to face Sasuke.

Bad idea. Sasuke's face was centimeters away from Naruto's and black eyes were burning into blue.

"Because you are precious to me." Sasuke repeated.

'_Precious_' Naruto repeated in his head.

"P-precious? Like what precious? Like the Ring of Power?" Naruto tried a lame attempt at a joke, completely unsure of what was happening and trying to gain some semblance of sanity.

Sasuke shook his head slowly and deliberately, "No. Precious as in I love you."

'_Precious_. . ._love_. . .'

"L-l-like a brother, right? C'mon, S'ske, feelings aren't jokes. You shouldn't play with them." Naruto chided, thinking that he was just blowing things out of proportion and acting conceited by thinking that all those times Sasuke said 'precious' he meant that he loved Naruto in a lovers kinda way. But that couldn't be because Sasuke is THE SASUKE UCHIHA and Naruto is the cursed demon monster who won't ever get love like that.

"I'm not. If anything you are. I said I love you, and not in a brotherly way but in a love-love way." Sasuke said patiently in his calm voice.

"You're not joking. . ." Naruto's eyes widened. He didn't know what to do!

Sasuke shook his head again, "I'm not joking."

"You really. . .love. . .me?" Naruto asked, cringing as he expected Sasuke to laugh and say no.

"I really, really love you." Sasuke told him, leaning in closer so their noses were touching.

"And. . .and. . ." Naruto wasn't sure what to say next; he wasn't sure what to _do_ next!

"And I want you to be my boyfriend." Sasuke said, pressing slightly into Naruto's nose.

"Boyfriend?" Naruto squeaked and flushed redder than Santa's red suit.

"Boyfriend." Sasuke repeated, keeping calm.

Naruto froze again as he considered it. He had always assumed that he would be alone and unloved in the lover sense. But now somebody was telling him that they _loved_ him. And not just anybody! SASUKE!

Sasuke! The only one who didn't run away on the playground when Naruto approached! The only one who took Naruto seriously! The only one who invited Naruto to play with him! The only one who stood up against bullies for him! The only one Naruto trusted enough to let his guard down around! And now, the only one that had told Naruto that he love-loved Naruto!

There was no more need for consideration. If they ever had a fight, then they would get through it like they always had. If it didn't work out, then they would still be best friends because they are too close.

"Okay." Naruto whispered.

Sasuke paused, and asked, "Okay?" in the same quiet tone.

Naruto nodded with a little more confidence, "I'll be your boyfriend—"

Before he could finish, Sasuke's lips were upon his. They were softer and warmer than he imagined the bastard's lips would be.

It wasn't a heated kiss, but there was still the same amount of passion.

Sasuke moved his lips around Naruto's immobile lips until Naruto regained brain control and hesitantly kissed him back.

There was no tongue, but Naruto was surprised to feel a little wetness between their lips.

After they broke apart, Sasuke pecked him on the nose and gave him a smile. A real smile; not a smirk, not a grin, but a smile.

Seeing this, Naruto knew he made the right decision.

He also knew that he would never have to consider himself a cursed demon anymore, and that made him smile.

Later, Naruto remembered that he had a job. With Sasuke's arms around him, Naruto sent Mrs. Porter a reply.

'_Dear Mrs. Porter,_

_Thank you sincerely for the demo of Mr. Uchiha's interview. Everything is acceptable and you may run it without any changes on our part, though we do remind you of our opinions about editing taking things out of context. We are pleased to inform you that Mr. Uchiha has given a high probability of returning for another interview._

_Many thanks and the best of regards,_

_Naruto Uzumaki, PR of Sasuke Uchiha._

_P.S. Please thank Ino for her wonderful work and give her this._

Attached to the message was a picture of Naruto smiling at the camera and Sasuke kissing him on the cheek; their first picture as an official couple.

* * *

**And that was the story!**

**You know what I noticed? Of course not, but I'll tell ya anyways. I noticed that there is a discernable difference between criticisms in reviews for people's writings between working writers and avid readers.**

**Avid readers tend to more judgmental; they are more prone to flaming people's writing. I'm saying this in a general sense that does not apply to all, but avid readers have a habit of demanding better quality from the story's writer. It is as if they feel that their time has been wasted, and as one who loves to read, the so called 'story' is insulting, so they flame. These flames range from flat out 'you shouldn't even be writing because you suck' to anally pointing out mistakes—from grammar to how **_**they**_** feel the story **_**should**_** go—on stories that others would think are good, if not great.**

**Working writers tend to be understanding; they are more likely to give detailed constructive criticisms with little compliments than flames. This is generally because those writers, while maybe wishing for better quality, are likely to sympathize with fellow writer in a sense, and want to actually help them improve rather than point out their flaws.**

**I also realized the same difference in update requests haha.**

**So please review and lemme know what you think n_n**

**Thank you!**


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